Eyakhairiah

someone please save me.

2012-01-20T13:54:00.005+08:00

Time to time and im waiting for the time for me to get my life back. Im struggling real hard to endure this torture. I dont know who else to turn to. Im dying a little bit inside every second. This isnt what i wanted, and surely not what i deserve. For all this while i kept quiet just not to get beaten up by you. Each time i was hit, my heart feels the pain more than the bruises. Remind me again if i really did a mistake which i totally have no clue when i did one to you. I love you dearly and sincerely wholeheartedly and this is what i get in return? Youre confidently accused me having an affair with almost all the guys in the world. When you dont have any prove at all. Im with you now like 24hrs and you could think i might destroy your life and bring you down? You deleted all my contacts when its obviously non guys list when you, yourself contact with several girls and the only reason you gave was to find out the truth about me when i barely know who's the girl you contact with. When im outside with you, every guy that past by you said i knew them when they are absolutely strangers to me. You said i took drugs i told you gazillion times check my urine, as simple as that and the reason you didnt bring me to check my urine was because you dont want me to get caught, tell you what i rather be in jail than to be tortured this hard. I rarely meet my friends now and i dont even get to go home and see my family. You said mostly stories tht doesnt have prove and all the prove you said were people talk bout me and your "gut feeling" what bullshit is that? When i speak up for my right, you said i act stupid when youre the one who act confident catching me red-handed without any prove. What the hell am i supposed to do, you bit, threatened, swore me everytime i try to correct you. All you ever wanted to see me sad and cry every single day. Sometimes i just want to just end this sufferring life of mine. But i always think of ibu. I miss her like crazy. Wish everything would end soon.

Am not that imaginary slut which was playing in your mind.

2011-12-13T20:33:00.004+08:00

Well this stupid idiot got away from his first report bail. postpone tilll 22th dec 2011.

so now we got plenty more time with each other, but problems occur every now and then .

i took few days off from work just before his first report bail, after my leaves done of course i have to come back to work right? well, this fella here doesnt like me working , cause of his insecurities took place in his brain. i dont mind , at first but after few days, it was really shocking how he changed drastically . he started to sent me off to work and fetch me from work regularly.

and the most devastating thing was even my break time he came, actually before that he's at the airport. At first i was glad that he has the heart to come by and be a good boyfriend. BUT, one point of time, he keep accusing me of taking drugs. i he was really very sure that i took. like hello mr? i told him many times if you do not trust me bring me to check my urine and dont let me laugh out loud at your face and say i told you so, when the result come out. But he refuse to and he continues on accusing me. Second, he start assuming me having a scandal at work. like wtf?=.=. Ive been working almost 1 year 4 months and never in these years , i intend to look for a guy at work. i came work for money . thats all . you can ask all the guys working there if you dont believe me. Thirdly EVERYTHING that i do now seems so wrong to his eyes. Like for example, answering his phonecalls in the elevator which obviously no reception and he thought i mute his call because there's a guy with me. =.=, answering what and ok when he mumbles on the phone when i can hardly understand what he says, he would scold me vulgarities non-stop hit just for that. reject his calls when im busy at work , and he thought im with another guy, didnt came out from work on time was really a wrong thing, he came early to airport which i didnt ask him to and ask me to leave the office like nobody business . go break with my colleague which was my bestfriend was wrong. smoke break with colleague in the transit and not outside with him at the departure when i only have 5 mins of smoke break , he would start assuming me thousands of assumptions. going to work was wrong to him, and taking mc was wrong too. i was just trying to talk to my OE saying that im sick and i wanted to take mc which was actually because of him and he thought i was flirting with my own OE when obviously if i wanted to fake a voice i wouldnt be shouting right? and i get a hit by a phone on the eye just for taking mc. wow ! Looking at him he said was irritating, looking in the thin air he would say i took drugs . sleep at my own house he would think i wanted to meet a guy , sleeping at his house have to hear him blabbering almost all the time. i just dont understand him. when i wanted to explain he would ask me to shut up, when i kept quiet he get furious. Like wtf you want sia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay that was venting an anger which was kept so long . His sleeping now and that peaceful moment of my life . still i wish all this heartache and headache ends soon. i really cant take it no more . :'((

what hurts the most?

2011-12-07T11:58:00.005+08:00

im gonna miss you so much.

Hey boyfriend, i really hope your case would be postpone anytime later, but if it wasnt meant to be , rest assured honey , im here just like this when once youre out . maybe just my hair. hah! i hope you''ll take good care of yourself inside , behave and like iqah said, make as many prata stories as you can so they would get tired of you and let you free early . hehehek.

i hope its gonna be fast so you can clear everything as soon as possible, and not to repeat it in future . and yeah yeah, your bike installment no worries . i'll try my best to cover up. with myself trying to find new job , hmmpf, i just have to try .make your parents happy by not making any trouble okay?

few days back spending my whole time with you was really awesome , only your dog part , not that cool bro. it feels like i want to just stay like this till dont know when?

hais.

why do you have to go? eventhough there's 50% you could postpone your case but still youre gonna be away to serve your punishment of your wrongdoings. i really hope by this , it would change your bad habit life .

change, and lead a normal life . like your mother said . =))

today have to spend the day the fullest cause you might not have another day to spend .

dinner with your family is a must.

i love you bby , so much . i'll be waiting no worries , me no slut like those whores youve known.

muahmuah <3

Nothing New, just Updates.

2011-11-06T03:23:00.003+08:00

wooohoo !!! yo ! alrights , its been awhile right ? hehek . too busy with work .and i usually surf the net using my phone instead of the lappy . easier lah . hehek.

well , everything's still the same as always, work wise , relationship wise , family wise. basically , nothing new at all. i'm starting to get tired with this job . well, im gona get new one as soon as i get the opportunity to find one. its hard when you only get one day off and almost everyday worked about 9 hours . afternoon shift make it worst . ive no time for everything , for friends , family and boyfriend.

Recently me and boyfriend had an accident at woodlands, the corner going to woodlands. well , it was both parties fault actually . But whatever it is i'm more than thankful to God cause i'm still alive and perfectly recovering from minor wounds. Alhamdulillah .. its painful few days after accident but after that , i kinda pity boyfriend's wound . its yucky and seems painful . but he's used to it . pray hard he would recover fast . Amin ~its my first accident so i kinda shocked for awhile but somehow, like people said , woman's instincts are usually right and its true when it actually happened. but i didnt cry FYI . heh , strong girl mah .

currently smoking while watching cartoon network, well actually the tv's watching me . the tv was just my company while im alone in the living room .

Bf recently kinda too paranoid on everything i do. it scares me sometimes but most of the time im too annoyed with his stupid assumptions. Whatever it is , i can't wait for my pay , cause i'm totally BROKE . cepat cepat please .

i'm tired now , tomorrow i'll prolly have to do DSS again . sucks man ! bye .

Reality's a BITCH.

2011-07-28T05:24:00.004+08:00

Good morning , its 5:26 am now. And i should be sleeping quite soon. Its been long since i blog. Well i'm blogging using my itouch, so, its kind abit hard to blog.

Life has been a pain in the ass nowadays. With workwise, with love , with money issues, and bla bla bla. I could possibly die soon. I kept saying that but ouh well, just mind me.

Work, has been the main reason for all the shits happening. Firstly, i'm pissed off well not just me, but everyone of my colleagues aren't happy about it. They held up our overtime pay for only god knows why. Annoying much i must say. And we just get to know our CPF money was not there where it was supposed to be. And with the new contract agreement, we're now entitled to have just ONE PATHETIC DAY of rest. And that REALLY REALLY suck. Which means , in other word i've less time for bby. That makes another problem to my problematic life. A few of my colleagues have already resigned only left a few of us , which means , more work due to lack of staff. And this shits makes me wanna die. With only one restday, more work, i shall get lost anytime soon. My mind has decided , but my heart, well , the work is a bitch but leaving those nice people, unbearable. And going to a new environment totally suck. So, i'm just gonna leave it to time. Go on with flow then .

Bby is trying hard to be such a dear. But he still don't get it . Which part of , 'i hate waiting' don't he get it? The best part is, he'll be late about 2 to 3 hours and i don't , eh ! I mean i CANNOT POSSIBLY MIND, but when i'm late about only 5 minutes he starts to ROAR? like the fuck? Ikr.... But well i've spent a little time with him now. And i'm kinda used to it? Drifting maybe? Oh well , let time tells. Anws, he 's too concentrate on his nuisance bikey more than me. I'm so used to it...

Alright i shall take off to my lullaby-land now. Tomorrow i'll be back to reality.
Goodbye. 

Nothing new .

2011-06-21T01:33:00.003+08:00

This headache is seriously killing me softly .

Like , my goodness , feels like chopping off my head .

And this gorilla at home who have been to , i think thailand?

finally came back . thought she's already extinct , cheat my feeling lo.

Her existence add more pain to my head .

Fought with bby . he deleted me off . well, he always do that ,

wasn't that surprised to see him not in my friendlist . hmmpf .

don't wanna elaborate much further . i love him still , of course i do.

Just leave it to fate . if he's really sincere he would try hard to get us back.

for now , shall just tahan this heartbreak. =))

my itouch spoilt . boo hoo ! ='((

all because of the rain the other day .

i didn't care anything else except for bby .

i don't even care when i was totally all drenched up by the rain.

and i totally forgot about my electronic devices inside my useless bag.

shithead !

reached home and phone was all going crazy keep on dialing bby's number , i don't know for what fucksake . and my itouch blackout.

so, whathefuck?

And ouh ya , i lost my bracelet that ibu gave me which ive been wearing it since , forever ? i cried . yes i did .

this was the second time ive lost that bracelet .

it might be not that worth alot but thats the most precious thing from ibu besides my necklace. ='((((

how careless can i be ? tsk~

shall get a rest now . my head really making me go crazy .

Confession.

2011-06-07T04:36:00.002+08:00

i love my boyfriend alot , i do . But now , i hardly had time with bby . Like he's much more busy with his friend . and i already confess to him , yes i did . but he told me that its because he need to get some money and that is important for us .

bby, i don't need money to be happy .
just having you by my side is more than enough .
Attention is much more expensive than money.
i don't blame you if you want to make me happy.
i appreciate it alot . But i'm left here with no one to talk to.
Hopefully things will get better . i love you like a fatboy loves chocolate.

yesterday , me , iqah and izz found a dead cat at the middle of the road.

we assume it was hit by a vehicle, either bike or car.

but most probably a car as the dead cat was like totally flat on the ground .

poor cat . ='(( we put him aside so that he won't be squashed by any cars again.

R.I.P poor cat.

So, yesterday had a some kind a great day with bby . Just because he spent a little more time with me. k nevermind . forget bout telling this.

Sunday night , i had a dream.

a dream that really makes me feel weird.

i dreamt of that someone and his mom. i swear i was thinking about bby

no one else but bby before i go to sleep , the thing that makes it weird was what the hell he was doing in my dream? like i woke up , scratch my head and relieved cause it was just a dream.

I just don't want any single thing about him to be remembered.

TOTALLY NOTHING.

i love baby so much now. speaking of bby ,i lost count on how long we've been together. feels like forever . i did drop it down the day we first met in my personal diary , but i refuse to count . Because they said, the more you count the faster your relationship will end . i don't know if its true , but y'know, lets keep safe .

one day , when my child ask me , who's my first love i want to be able to point across the room and say its you. <3 dinesh.

Finally the day i've been waiting for, OFFDAY.

2011-06-03T05:01:00.004+08:00

Its 5 in the morning , and i'm still awake . i should be sleeping right now ,

but i don't wish to , cause why ?

Because, LIKE FINALLY, TOMORROW'S MY OFFDAY.

after so long days i've been working , finally i got some rest.

i shall not set my alarm tonight , and wake up at any time i WANT. YAY!

i don't have any idea though of what shall i do tomorrow.

if no plans at all , i shall just slack at home all day long , and maybe , clean up

my some-sort-like-kandang-babi bedroom.

my mum has been nagging me every sec she saw me at home.

not that i didn't want to but , ive been like working full 11 straight days .

i usually wake up get ready to work , come back home on my comp and go to sleep.

i hardly meet bby nowadays.

and its all thanks to my hectic schedule.

But the sad thing was , my pay is on next week .

that's like omGOODNESS!

I WANT TO CRY NOW. ='(((((

okay, i still can't stop thinking about this one guy .

He's a well known person .

He was born half-body .

literally half-body . ehhmm ..

Well, he was travelling to shanghai and was on transit to singapore.

and coincidentally he was on our assistant.

i didn't assist him but when i was doing my flight , i saw him .

And that moment i was like ,

ouh gosh , i thank god for having a complete body and legs.

He really amazed me .

i mean , knowing his condition is like that,

he still got the courage of travelling to other countries.

i really really salute him ,

Mr i-forgot-your-name.

And i would like to talk about the indonesian people in singapore.

Does anyone realized that most of our news is about indonesian people?

for example,

the news about new-born baby found at the multi-storey carpark garden?

the mother of that poor kiddo was a indonesian.

the news about a lady was killed by bangla?

she was indonesian too.

And two days back, a boy found dead ,drowned at the longkang at whampoa?

He was indonesian.

like hello?? anyone realized that? weird isn't it?

Why the heck you guys brought accidents happened in Singapore? tsk .

Anyways, i pity those kiddos and the lady .

R.I.P to you people. not the baby though.

Why am i talking about news now? so not me.

i don't read newspaper neither did i watch news on 5 .

All this info , was from people at work . they talk , i listen. nyeahah!

So , what shall i do next? i'm so famished right , prolly check out the menu in the kitcheeen.

Toodles!

2011-05-28T02:56:00.004+08:00

It's 3 am now , And i'm gonna sleep soon . i SHALL sleep soon .

its been days ,weeks , months , ive been sleeping around 6 am and woke up either 11 am or 12 pm. crazy isn't it ? well what to do, i wanna step hero only . LOL!

So , today was supposed to work till 11:30 pm but i work overtime.

Just to gain more money which doesn't even make a different. =.=

And guess what ? my next off day is on next week Saturday . Yay!

my last offday was on last monday . Double the YAY! =.='

So did the calculation on my calender , and realized ive to work 11 days STRAIGHT.

YES. STRAIGHT. da tak betul aku punye OE .

AND you know what? after the next week offday , the day after that , ive to work morning .

Confirm plus chop , this lady crazy uh.

Gonna smack her face when ive got the chance to see her.

Boyfriend .

He's somewhere not to be located at.

And i don't think we're gonna meet . bleargh!

you know when you always meet that one person , get used to the same routine

having him by your side and spent most of your time with him and suddenly one day

he's not there? Even if its only A DAY?

Freaking awkward like hell. Feels like something's amiss.

i ever woke up and self-panicked for a second when i didn't see bby's not by side.

Thats how USED TO BE WITH MY hubby every single day .

even for one day it makes a BIG different .

Well, that is what i'm feeling right now.

something's amiss.

Boyfriend's birthday is coming soon like 2 more months?

i need to save up money , and stress myself on what to buy for bby .

i really need to buy something for bby , since he bought me prada wallet and handphone

for my 20th birthday . So, what shall i buy eh?

i wish i was a guy , easier for me to know what to buy for bby.

i'm sleeping soon , maybe after i eat . too hungry can't take anymore.

toodles!

Almost half of year 2011

2011-05-09T03:41:00.006+08:00

10th May 2011.

thats how times past really fast . Its about half of the year 2011.

you realized that?

Have been working and working and working . thats how BORING my life is.

I don't even feel the enjoyment in life anymore.

Sometimes i think that i should just die and deal with the punishment afterlife.

And stop making more mistakes and sins.

Aniways , last two days was Mother's day , and ibu was like so sad

no one celebrate for her. Not that i don't want . but my pay not received yet.

well here goes for my dearest ibu ,

Dear ibu ,

firstly i wanna say , i love you to the core .

You're the best mom anyone could ever wish for.

Your unbeatable among all moms.

Eventhough you could nag 24hrs , you still have the energy to ,

1) Cook for the whole family

2) wash the dishes

3)wash and iron the clothes

4) Clean the house

5)work 2 jobs

6)Dye your hair

7) Handle two super annoying daughters yet you gave equal love to all 4 children

8) Entertain your irritating husband

9) Watch drama and cry to yourself

And 10) Karaoke at home.

That is why i call you my super woman , wonder woman , extraordinary woman

and everything that has got to do with woman lah kan.

You're the BEST of the BEST of the BEST.

I LOVE YOU IBU .

i know i've been a nuisance to you like almost everytime?

but you know i love you thats why i plug your eyebrows.

I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU IBU WHEN I HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN.

(hopefully its possible.)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY LATIFAH OMAR.<3 =))

okay she wanted to see i wish happy mother's day in the net , so there you go ibu.

Ok now back to my lifestory.

Days have been so effing HOT .

i swear i could die of dehydration if i don't drink every two secs.

its not even a COLD night anymore .

whats happening ? scientist please do your research.

was actually suppose to go out but bby's bike jammed at the very last minute.

told you that bikey's a nuisance.

much more nuisance than bby.

So that nuisance thingy have to be pushed to jb to get fixed.

Again , money involved . Damn you bikey .

And that bike was actually just done renewing and all changed and YET, still making problems

whatthehell right?

k i'm bored bye.

missing you both like crazy.

2011-04-07T04:41:00.003+08:00

07th April, 2011.

its been 18 days since you've been gone. And i missed that feeling you when something's not

right . or when im happy or sad. that movement you've made always brings a smile to my face. knowing that when im sad you're there to hear me and when im happy , you are too. Sad thing to say that youre gone. And i have to accept it no matter what . you and your brother still in my mind though . everywhere i go. you guys never fail to be in my mind. And how i wish things was easy . i could've watch you guys grew up, teach you guys how to walk and say, ''mama'' , watch you guys go to school, scold you guys not to do this and that, took care when you guys are sick. i wish i could . ='((( i hope you guys aren't mad with me for doing so. i have my reason why. all i could say is that , i'm sorry precious ones . i pray to God to take good care both of you .

with lots of love,

your dearest mummy.

The 'YOU' ive always wanted.

2011-03-24T03:09:00.003+08:00

24th March 2011

Life been busy lately , with work and my dearest boyfriend.

And some stuff that i shall not mention here.

ive been working at airport for quite some time now i really should say im loving my job more than ever.

well thats because my job isnt that hard at all.

ive just to assist people to places and sometimes sit infront of the computer and type all day long which i dont like it that much though.only the computer part.

well one thing it hurt my eyes , my brain and also my butt . =pp

So, thats the reason why.

Well, bestfriend , Atiq recently just join my workplace .

And that makes my job much more interesting .

Other than work, i'll prolly be with Din, my dear boyfriend . Bf seems to be BETTER this time round . and it all happen eversince boy lollipop came around. But sadly to say , my boy lollipop doesnt last . ='((( i had my own reason why .

So now, bf've been spending most of his time w me other than his job.

Like, we'll be going to work , after work if we didnt go Jb , he'll be home with me pampering with each other . me likey ! ^_^

And i really hope this happiness i have now wont end . Cause i just love our relationship now,

eventhough i had few doubts about him .

But that doesnt stop me. he still the only person i love. his my superman. =pp

Currently waiting for bf to come home . but aint too sure cause if he's really late i shall tuck in alone soon.

thats all folks '

adios !

Thousands of apologies my dear boylollipop.

2011-03-18T22:28:00.002+08:00

Well here i am. Going through same shit like two years ago. The pain is superbly unbearable . This time round extra shit added. And i swear i could cry the whole night alone . I really hope it end as soon as possible . Why isit always have to happen to me ? Guess luck wasnt on my side . Sleepless nights . All alone without lub , i just can go crazy . Please be over soon. I'm sorry i dont really have a choice my boylollipop. You came around at the wrong timing .:'((((((((((

shit on the star of new year.

2011-02-01T02:44:00.004+08:00

Wazuuuup~

currently waiting for lub to come back home. so, while waiting to prevent myself to sleep, i shall just blog for awhile. done updating my tumblr, got sian, ran here. hahaha.

So, what happened to my January ? hmm, guess shit happens for the start of 2011. shouldnt be elaborating too much maybe just abit. Lub got problem made another problem then i got problem with the problem that he shouldn't make. Get it ? Hahahahahah! But , i didn't care much less . prolly because i just don't want to get stressed over a minor thing that worth nothing in my life. So, big deal, i don't loose anything . they both did, Their face. if contacting someone knowing he's obviously attached to someone whom you knew, makes you feel good, well, honey , by all means. i'll just sit here and pity you. aww... *blink eyes few time while pouting*.

So, yada yada yada ... and so on.

Have been quite busy spending time with lub. and i seriously need to buy more detergent. pity ibu. haiz. Lub really should stop creating puddle on my pillow. and he really needs to wear those breath right plaster which are supposed to stick on his nose and then say goodbye to mr snore.

ok i'm done. Chaloz!

20th Birthday .

2011-01-17T12:49:00.003+08:00

Monday afternoon.

Birthday's finally over . and i'm like finally 20. i feel old . =(( really old.

This year celebration wasn't that much of big celebration. just a simple but really quite surprising day for me. wasn't expecting that much of surprises though. but they always got me.

First surprise was i only thought we're gonna just chill like a normal chill day.

but they turned up with cakes , balloons ,bear and birthday card . was really quite astounded

as they came singing me the birthday song . But i still have that worried mood cause last three days before my birthday , something happened to love. and we didn't contact for almost three days . and i was quite worried what'd happen to him. and i do feel sad cause he wasn't there to celebrate my birthday when he'd actually promised me this year would be diff compared to the other years.

But i don't blame him cause he didn't expect that to happen. Anyway, so, after eating the cakes and stuff, i wanted to go back but bear and bobo keep on asking me to wait a lil more longer. so, waited and waited , suddenly bear came from behind and shouted, ''eya, surprise !'' and there he was standing my lublub holding my presents. i broke down for awhile cause i've been worried sick and there he was , standing there . like , k watever. So this year , lublub bought me prezzies like after so many years . i wasn't expecting that much of presents but i love you so much baby ! XD

So now, i'm like calling and calling and calling love from morning . he have to collect his passport by 5 . and he still fucking sleeping ! =.=

bye !

Chances after Chances.

2010-12-16T04:22:00.006+08:00

Hey sweethearts, its 4:30 am now and i can't sleep .

i do feel sleep but i just can't go to sleep .

Let me just update about my life. Well, me and Din ,

like same old story. i've never stopped giving him chances.

well, thats khairiah. i actually think i'm the world's strongest girl on earth. tell me, which girl would take him back after various mistakes he'd done towards a little innocent girl , like me .=))

i think others would have left him long long ago before he could actually repeat his mistakes. but what did i do ? i kept myself strong and gave him plenty of chances. i doubt he won't repeat it again. what shall i do? just expect what the unexpected. =)) i do feel disappointed but lets just call that shit happens . only that this shit happened multifarious times. haha. i believe one day god'll pay me much much more excelling future ahead. insya'allah .

Have been busy working all day long . trying to occupy my idle time. Buuuut , i do start loving my job actually. hahah, like everyday i could see lots and lots of babies and toddlers . and i would be going GUGUGAGA all the time when i see them. like hello? they're like super adorable. especially the ones crawling and showing their little not much teeth. grr~ i can go crazy looking at them . bahahaha! other than work, i simply spent some time with my babykuku bird, Din of course.

My babykuku bird. ❤

my muffin for now.

i know i'll make a mistake twice but i shall deal with that later. i'm sorry.

Why ouh why, God?

2010-11-19T03:40:00.003+08:00

Why life must be this complicated for me? Why do i have to go through all this stressness in my head. Why cant i just have a peaceful mind and life. thats all i'm asking for. is it so hard to make my life not this complicated. ? my life seems to end each day with a problem stuck in this tiny weeny brain of mine. ouh my goodness, i cant take this anymore longer. its killing me softly. can't anyone see me crying for help? OH GOD, why do you have to test me till this hard? forgive my mistakes . Can you stop it god?

He met me earlier . only for awhile . that ex-boyfriend of mine i mean. He said someone's following him. wow, THAT! is call a real stalker. some people doesn't know how to differentiate between the word 'stalker' and 'kepo'.

kay eyes shuttin' down, head's spinning round and round.

tc bloggie! *smooches*

New Me.

2010-11-13T01:55:00.004+08:00

Hey, mind decided to unblock my bloggie.

i miss my bloggie so muchhy!! its been so freaking long eversince i update here, cheh!

actually, honestly i did update sometimes.

but neh! am not going to post it.

So, as per normal, shit happens again & again.

never fails to hurt me. well, thats life.

nothing that i can do to avoid it.

i'm totally single right now and i'm kinda not used to it?

feels so awkward y'know.

after been attached a few years and now back to square one.

its like, i feel i was born for the second time.

i simply have no idea of what to do.

BUT, im glad that all the shits that happened to my life ,

didnt bring me down, ive got things to do to fill my empty time.

So, all this while ive been working and working and working

and working. other than that, spent time w my babies.

well,that ex boyfriend of mine, he finds me back. like usual. =.=

we met. he apologize for what he did.

And i just cant help it but to say that he's stupid.

well, things have changed now.

i really have a hard time on finding my way back into love.

Heartpain. really pain. and im really sorry to those who ive really make them disappointed .i just cant.

Blame it to my past. For now, i just need a peaceful mind.

all i need a time alone in the garden full of flowers and green grasses.

i shall do that one day.

thats all, loves . *smooches*

New Chapter.

2010-11-01T13:39:00.002+08:00

Chapter 1,

alright, how do i start? well, last post was about me and that idiot broke up isnt it? So, he's now with elly bebe officially together. doesnt hurt much, maybe a little. but i just laughed, cause i cant keep thinking how thos bitches family 's attitude . they just LOVE my left-overs. oh well, what i can i do. things happened for a reason. if we're meant to be, WE'RE MEANT TO BE.

Life's the same. nothing much different with or without his existence in my life. in fact, ive been receiving GOOD THINGS eversince he left. maybe thats the sign saying that if i were with him, my life isnt that lucky? just maybe. but im loving my life every single second.

Met this guy on fb. well, one word to describe him is, he's HUMONGOUS . and im like so frigging tiny. weird . he's started to grow some emotion towards me, but then, am just not ready quite yet. am just scared of falling in love again and get my heart broken for the zillion times. ive promised my heart no more pain. ive promised to give less stress to my brain, ive promised my eyes no more tears, and ive promised my guts, no more fears. so, i wouldnt want all that to happen. cause all i can think now is to work, and work and work, took my license , meet my babies. so, im so clueless of what to do. ouhya, thats him , in that picture up there.

so, now am like gonna get ready for work. so see ya soon!

loved!

OFFICIALLY DONE.

2010-10-25T13:52:00.004+08:00

Biarkan waktu teruslah berputar

mencintai kamu penuh rasa sabar,

Meski sakit hati ini kau tinggalkan,

ku ikhlas tuk bertahan.

kau meninggalkan ku tanpa perasaan,

hingga ku jatuhkan airmata.

kekecewaanku sungguh tak berarah,

biarkan ku harus bertahan.

dear bloggie,

so, now, dinesh has already officially in a relationship with that slut. i just dont get it why my world MUST revolves around them. i'm totally over it now. whats over its over . whats done canot be undone. so, my life is now all about work, bike license which im still on prac 1. =.= and spending leftover time w lovely friends. and you know, i actually kinda like it this way. freedom. report-strengthless. basically, I CAN FREAKING DO WHAT EVER I WANT TO FREAKING DO!. AWESOOOME! k gotta go now, need to get ready for work.

BROKENHEARTED AGAIN.

2010-10-04T06:09:00.003+08:00

04th september 2010,

dear bloggie,

have been working quite long this few days, or shall i say weeks? non-stop hits . told ya gonna get my license soon. yeay cant wait!

boyfriend, well we're no longer together. i guess, i'm just not that strong to hold on anymore longer. well, nothing seems to be diff. i used all the time, working and talking on the phone with my best-ever friends. they really made me smile when i'm really down. thank god , for giving this kind of friends into my pathetic life. back to the story about boyfriend, well, he made a mistake. here the story goes..

he called saying that he'll be meeting ayouk, which is dewi( the bitch i hate the most)'s boyfriend. i asked him if that bitch, is there too? and he said no, ouhya, i was at work at that moment. after two minutes, he texted me saying that dewi and her another bitch sister were there swimming. and i was like oooookkkkkaaaayyyy, how come he reached there so fast? so i was thinking he already made plans but he didnt tell me, instead he just informing, knowing that i'll be mad if i knew that bitches were there. so i just close one eye and try hard to trust him, and told him nicely that if he can, try go and meet his other friend which is more likely i trusted him. and he goes saying that i'm crazy? and that why he can't meet him so called 'brother' . like wtf? i only told him TRY TO MEET HIS FRIEND ASAP. which part of the sentence he don't understand? then i called him. after awhile he answered my call. and he said he's in the toilet? i mean how come when he's talking to his friend he can't answer my call. he usually does without any hesitation. then, i get angry, THEN he gets angry too. bla bla bla, vulgarities like usual. than i decided to stop the war and just give in. i apologize for nothing, and he still on his EGO mode. i let him just take a moment after one hour, called him, and ask him nicely again, where's he. and he said he's at that bitches crib? that moment i decide to loose the grib on our relationship.

so, thats how we got separated. tell me , if you're woman, better yet, if you're in my shoes, how would you feel? who's at fault?

what he did was over the LIMIT.

and thats when i say goodbye.

life is full of surprises

2010-09-30T12:37:00.002+08:00

30th september 2010,

dear bloggie,

its been awhile ive update here, cause i was actually too busy updating my tumblr. bahaha. freaking addicted now. i just love posting pretty pictures and posting lovely quotes that has got to do with my life. so, yeah. check out my lovely tumblr if you want. or , better yet, if you can? LOL. i'm gonna get ready for work soon. and i'm like still sticking my eyes on this screen. its raining outside. this weather trying to hold me to go for work.

raya, turn out to be NOTHING to me. infact i didnt go for raya celebration this year, well maybe put aside first day of raya which obviously i spent with family. the other days, ive worked and worked and worked like hell. ouhya, i'm getting my bike license. that's the whole reason why ive worked hard. *winks*

boyfriend ;

he had a case AGAIN. this time its because of his last year case and was brought up like last week? how pathetic isn't it? so, about 60% he'll be in that place again for about 6 months or if he's lucky he'll just get a probation. why do my life sucks?! tell me about it. the other day, we had real big fight. and i was pretty amazed of what he dared to do. like again, i'm not gonna tell youuuu. =)) i'm just dissapointed of what he did . but itsokay. chances are given. one more time, no face given.

ok thats it im getting ready for work. byeeeeeee!!

2010-09-19T20:10:00.003+08:00

19 september 2010,

Dear bloggie,

Im currently at work, smoking. Its my break time and i dont have any appetite to eat tho. Something wrong with my taste bud and im loving it cause, due to this problem of mine , i could save alot of money. Bahaha! But on second thought, i tend to smoke alot & smoking does make my lungs worsen. But who cares, the most is i just die. Seems like i dont care much about my health but i do still have my medications. Tomorrow's supposingly my off day but i took a recall as bf gonna stay in camp tomorrow night so i just planned to work just to occupy my boring time and by working tmr i guess i could pay back my two days of my medical leave. :))

Ok im going off to start work now. Bye!!

Unwell.

2010-09-18T16:55:00.003+08:00

18september 2010,

Dear bloggie,
Another day at work. This week, ive worked for only like, one day?? Bahahaha! Ok sounds like im slacking? Here's the reason why, i had 3 days off from sunday. Came to work on wednesday, and for thursday and friday, im on medical leave. I had my asthma attack for after one year. Its super annoying cause the doctor said that i dont have any asthma but i really know there is. And i was expecting that they'll be giving me that stupid spray thingy but they didnt. And now boyfriend really scared to meet me cause according to him he totally clueless on what to do if i were to faint infront of him. Thats very rude of him isnt it? Well thats my bf. I took cab to work as i dont feel that i can walk that much. Even my journey from home to my bustop, ive already completely, breathless. So i just decided to just wasted my money on cab. Im so gonna broke soon. Im currently waiting for my um to arrive. I bet he's bigger than my size. Hopefully not. Where the hell is the plane. It should be landed now...

Boyfriend,

We fought again about that stupid hobby of his. I really cant stand it if he starts to prioritize that thing before me. Obviously i'll burst to my anger if that ever happens. Unfortunately , he tried test my patience and obviously i'll be venting on him. He's so god damn stupid. But like usual, he apologized again and again. God, when will he fucking change?

Ok bye.

BITCH, MANWHORE , BOTHMAN.

2010-09-14T01:32:00.002+08:00

14th september 2010,

dear bloggie,

after so long working, i finally had my off day. yepee! and i had about three days? haha. was abit amazed after hearing my schedule.but i find it reasonable? as ive worked hard and on my raya eve and second day of raya i had to blardie work. so, my hardwork should be pay off. =)) *big smile* but i had to work the remaining days till sunday or maybe more and its all in the afternoon shift. bleah! but oh well. im thinking of working on tuesday which is today but, on second thought, maybe i could just use this off day to relax myself , boosting my energy lah kan.. haha.

boyfriend ;

i found out the reason why he's being a BITCH lately, kinda dissapointed with him, but. i dont know. im kind of 'cant be bothered' anymore? well, i wont be revealing anything here about what he did, eventhough i know my blog is now private, but i should just save it to myself for now. we kinda talk things out, and we made deal on any conditions. i felt happy we're working out back . a little calm conversation really works. But , i really do hate his new hobby. may someday, he'll open up his eyes and realized that he'll have to be a better guy in order to take good care of me. to be with me for the present and future. i really want to have a good future y'know. i want the best for me. I was quite happy that he said he wanted to marry me . thats the most happiest thing he ever said to me. but i hope that was sincere. only god knows.

ok im done. gonna continue playing my bakery life. im so addicted to it.

Bitterheart.

2010-09-11T13:38:00.003+08:00

11th September 2010

Dear bloggie,

It's second day of raya now. I really wanna have that raya mood but I simply can't force myself to. And I'm confuse why. I usually get excited when it's raya time . Maybe I'm too tired working I guess. Speaking of work, am currently rotting at work on the second day of raya. How pathetic isn't it? Well, again, I can possibly do anything about right? Afterall, I'm still under probation. Have to just bear with it. Sigh.

Yesterday went to families house. And the most annoying thing was, most of the house we went , serves only lontong and ayam merah. 
And and this year raya we travel by that gorilla's car AGAIN.  after how many years passed her car license STILL, nothing improves. Might as well throw away her license lor.. After reaching every house we went, the whole family will definitely get dizzy. Really ! well that's about my this year boring raya. Ouhya, I'm quite happy, cause some of the kind relatives still gave me money!  maybe they didn't know I've started working. Some of the heartless ones , go and die you selfish humans . Haha.

I've applied many many games in my itouch . I like!! I decided to apply more games than songs as I can use my 'new found phone' as my mp3 . So now, I wouldnt be that bored while waiting for the flight. Ouhya , I've finally bought casing for my itouch . 40 bucks gone.  Ouhwell, whatever. And it's pink !!  wee~~

Boyfriend;
Okay, I'm so do not understand what actually he wants. Well, I know he's a fickled-minded guy but there's no need for him to make me confuse everytime. It's super annoying! At first he's bad , then suddenly changed to good without any warning. When I felt leaving him, he made me feel staying with him. When I thought he's pissed off, he was then damn good to me, see how ironic things can be living with a guy like him. He really wanna make me commit suicide. God, I know he's not that suit to be prayed for but, please oh please , for once make him change to be the better guy and for good not for temporary.

I wish I wish with all my heart , for once please ask him to not break my heart. 

Raya :))

2010-09-09T20:50:00.003+08:00

09/09/10

Let me remind you, tommorow is hari raya. And guess where am I ? Sadly to say, am at my freaking work still. By now I should prolly be at home , watching mummy setting up everything that was leftover. But I'm here half dead waiting for my time to go back. Looking at the surrounding, I'm prolly the last Muslim girl going back home. Ouh hell , what am I supposed to do. Just be patience I guess. Libya, got my first pay on the 8 which is yesterday. Bought myself an iPod touch. Bahaha! 300 gone just like that. Ouh well , atleast it's useful for me. I've been wanting an iPod touch since I don't know when . Like finally, told myself , sometimes I've to pamper myself. Since I'm still young and adorable^.^ I should buy it. I've never done this before y'know . Feel so scary watching my money burnt just like that. And and the best part is, I got a new phone ! For free ! Bahahaha no la, actually, while I was working yesterday , a passenger came to me and gave me a found saying that she found it . Well , then , horn starts to come out of my head. Maybe is just my luck. But I shall just thank god so I don't need to buy a new phone. Cause my old phone was actually half dead. So, thank god !

I wanna ask for forgiveness to bf but on second thought , nevermind, he celebrating depavali. Bahahaha.

Selamat hari raya !

I donoe WTF I'm doing here.I'm like slacking the whole day, maybe theyre not bad at all. :))

EXPECTED.

2010-09-07T02:09:00.003+08:00

7th September 2010;

Dear bloggie,
Had only 1 hour of quick nap before work this morning. after work, went home straight and play the computer for awhile called efa and ask for meet. called Darda too since i saw her online on fb. set the time and place and informed boyfriend to come down after he reach home from camp. well its already been 6 days we didnt meet. so, i really kinda miss him . reached destination, slack, talked , laugh just three of us. i miss hanging out at darda house just the three of us. everything changed now. everyone's busy with their own personal life and worklife too. well i cant blame anyone cause i myself am busy as they are. after awhile , darda's boyfriend called and like usual boyfriends and girlfriends always did. usual fights that i cant really bother anymore. i pity darda for always being the quite one and always give in to him. and furthermore, darda's still sick. damn! how heartless guys can be? speaking of heartless, back to my heartless boyfriend. waited and waited , after darda went home as she 's too tired fighting oyer the phone w her boyfie, me and efa head to haris house. just a visit . called bf several times but none of my calls was answered.so, seeing him ignoring my calls , looked at the time, and i told myself i better head home before i dont have any bus . and the worst part was, i brought that stupid helmet of mine.i really hate it boarding a bus with a helmet . i look like an idiot. but bf always insist me to bring my helmet easier for him but hard for me. sound selfish isnt it? then reached home, THEN he freaking call me. =.=' talked with my mls bo lyn tone. and then he told me that his friend wanna ajak him go pump. and gues what he said? guess la. '' tkpe uh bsk kat camp i pump uh''. that part, ive gave up. totally. sorry. but im just too tired. =)) i'll try to live without you ok? should be easy cause i dont even see the diff with or without you in my life. betol tak bedek. i'll start walk away slowly from you.

ok im done.

Exhausted!

2010-09-05T01:11:00.002+08:00

its 6 september 2010.

dear bloggy,

im so freaking exhausted ! feeling like oh hell why are you coming to earth. ive been working real hard and i mean REALLY REALLY workhard. i ,myself starting to wonder who am i? who's the person inside me. im SOOO not the khairiah who was born on 15 january 1991. ouh crap! im so so so tired. but nevertheless, my baking life game i wouldnt even miss a day. bahhahaha. ! even tho im tired . im feeling wanna just climb my window and jump down now. or maybe i should go a little bit higher level. dont think i could die jumping down at this level. haiyaa! why am i talking nonsence. tsk tsk. im going insane real soon. working at airport kinda easy but the timing is real annoying. i mean , the schedule is like 5:30 am till 2:30, 2:30 pm till 11:30 pm. macam sial kn? my body really aching after starting working shift. mak kao, bley mati oh. i dont even have time to slack with friends. but im trying hard to fill my time for them tho.

the annoying part,

boyfriend really is a real pain in the ass. okay he started to reveal his changes this while. i dont know what's on his mind , but i nearly gave up, i know i kept on repeating that but everytime i tried to leave something stops me . you know like gravity? yeah. thats the word to describe my i donoe what. and i told him what's in my mind and that beg him to stop it before i decided to leave (when i actually wont) and yeah it was a success, he apologised like usual and we're like normal but he still hardly meet me . but he did call me. but the annoying thang was, when he started to WANNA call me, my idiot credit runs low. and now ive to depend on airport free local calls public fone and my house phone. at least there's something .im glad that gorilla bought this lappy. wee ~

today, ouh i mean yesterday, went out to geylang with callow's mom. i tried to lie but i simply cant. maybe i was born to be honest. thats good. i think god knows ive too much sins so, he finally try to make myself less sin. bahaha ! i told boyfriend im going out with aunty from my workplace , so actually i was telling him 80% the truth and 20% lie. actually thats not bad at all. well he make me feel very very very bad. going geylang and with aunty was the truth only the part when i said she's my' one of the work fren ' that was a lie. but he knew i was lying. but so what? its not that im cheating on him . right? i dont see whats the wrong thing going out with your ex-mom . anyway he's in jail. so????? mcm wtf kan. ouh whatever. callow's mom bought me baju raya . since she knew i havent yet got my pay and raya's coming another 4 or 3 days. damn! that was fast! good good good. after this new year then , my birthday , ouhmy! gosh ! i forgot im turning 20 not 12 ! okay now im freaking out.! oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnooooooooo!!!!!!!

ouhkay i better get to sleep . before i work with my eyes half opened. like i always did. bahahaha.

toodles!

God must be crazy.

2010-08-30T02:32:00.003+08:00

Had a little fight with boyfriend yesterday. well, he mcm cb la. remember about the race i told you about at the previous post? yeah, so, i decided to just come for work at Lamaison since he , himself wants me to go work instead of accompany him to the race. which i feel so like, ' waah, everytime got race ask me to follow, now?' see what i told you about CHANGES. more and more changes starting to reveal as time past by. This part, i really hate it. okay, that one nevermind , i can close one eye la kan. summore if follow him , ive got no any benefits. then, the ruckus starts when clock reaches at 11pm. for the whole day , i was working. morning working the other job, rush back home , get changed straight to Lamaison. so, of course , i would be like very very super duper tired . i mean i woke up at 3 am and work till 5am the next day. well as a boyfriend you should be like easing my pain but instead he LOVE aggravate my anger like i told you before. he didnt call me the whole day and so i reckon he's sleeping for the whole day like he always did. and suddenly about 11 , i had the itch to give him a call. and he actually rejected my call. and i was like wow! i mean he NEVER reject any calls while sleeping . the worst he did was just silent his phone. and then, there it was, 'the moment when all the usual women's negative thinking ' starts to appear in this worried mind. and so, i called him again. this time, he answered. i was glad for a moment. then he told me that he's going to race and told me that once his friend already reached he would call me. waited and waited and waited. till the clock strike 2. no text messages, no calls, no missed calls. and it really hurts the brain of a woman when the hearts starts to worried. so i called again and texted him using harsh words like i always will when i get upset. then he replied saying that he already reached sengkang and that his credit kinda low meaning he cant call or text me. i understood and i said ok. but what i cannot tahan is, he didnt even text me until 6 in the morning. until i text him THEN he called saying he just reached home. dont he know that i get worried or what. i dont care where you go , but atleast spare any one or two messages from his friend's phone telling me thats he's ok and that he went to have supper with his friend. there's no harm lending a 5cents text message , right?

so, tell me, who's the MF now?

he always is..

well, earlier went to geylang with callow's mum. well, i do admit that ive got over him, but the reason why im still in contact with his mum wasnt beacause i wanted to meet callow or what, but , i sympathize with her lonely life. is not easy being a single mom and having her one and only hope son behind bars and another pathetic child is just useless in life . and as promised, i 'll be there to accompany her whenever im free. afterall imma lady with her words. promises are promises. she really feed me alot. spending time with her actually ease abit of my problem. she's one humorous human in the world. after geylang , went dte to meet bobo and haris. reached home, i actually thought its already Hari Raya. cause all my furniture are all re-arranged. bahahahah!

lastly, Fcuk My Life!

Wishes.

2010-08-27T16:18:00.003+08:00

Today's 27th of August 2010. everytime i took a glance on my calendar , i started mesmerizing all the things happened eversince i was young. i realized how life is more better being young . Problem-less , Stress-less, and cute-ness. Being young ,we could do anything and nothing stays in your brain to stress you out . now, everything is the opposite. we have to solve our problems by ourselves, everyday try to find ways to dispels every problem that stucked on our head. True enough isnt it? how i wished i could just stay put at the age of 10? i might be living forever without getting old and wrinkles start to appear everywhere and introducing themselves to my innocent skin. =(( i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. ~

boyfriend macam asshole sia. such a fickled minded guy. Annoying y'know! first this , second that. kejap ni, pastu tu. irritating kan si babi nie! at first he said wanted to go jb today cause this saturday there might be a race so in other words he need to spent about one day in JB to set up his stupid annoying bike. And ive already told him that this week schedule i worked the whole fucking morning for the whole fucking days in this week. and so , his initial plan was to go in jb in the afternoon today so, we could go back earlier. But his stupid asshole camp ruined the plan. So now , he said he wanted to go jb at night. if we went in at night, 80% of chances that i MIGHT BE be late for work. unless if i bring my uniforms to JB which is like, wtf? and another annoying news is that my manager for Mimo just texted me to work on saturday. so now, im confused. whether to follow boyfriend watch his race which doesnt have any benefits, or to work at mimo and never get to meet boyfriend. So, this is what i mean , i prefer to be young. =))

okdone.

Life's a bitch, and youre the reason why.

2010-08-23T02:19:00.004+08:00

okay, since tomorrow's my off day and i dont feel like sleeping now, so i guess i'll blog for awhile. i may be blurting out nonsensical things as my mind kinda half dead. So, yeah.

My aneh bf is a bitch. i know this words would be common to my co-horts. I pity those ears upon hearing all my complaints. well, if he didnt started it , i wouldnt be complaining. and best part, he ALWAYS aggravate my anger. i just dont get it why he LOVE making me angry. does he even know that when humans get angry, their face tend to get more older? and i dont want my face to get old. =(( wrinkles are equals to shit. ok enough talking about him.

im so famished right now. i really need chocolates immediately. i want 7-eleven inside my house can? easier laa.

haiya , im sleepy ready..

good night.

Back To Reality

2010-08-20T02:58:00.002+08:00

Every parts of my body are all asking for forgiveness. maybe im not used to it YET. due to the free time ive used to before was only to sleep , eat and go out. my alarm clock wasnt that useful that moment. Now, everything HAVE to change. i HAVE to change my body system to allthis shits. But apparently, the shits im referring to is about to bring me some money. thats the best part. =)) so, beside working, i'll probably be lounging around with dear friends and my aneh bf. and the little time ive left with, i'll go to sleep. and NOPE, i aint complaining or blaming anyone. why? cause im the one who chose to have less sleep,more meetings with friends and bf. thats more important to me , i guess. I hope i can tahan with this new job of mine. insyallah. ^.^

Fasting month is like no different to any other months. HAHA. i just dont have the mood to fast. But eh! even tho am not fasting, my mum knows okay, im not those " puase yok-yok, bgn pagy bukak priuk." okay lah thats about it. nothing much interesting to say. before i end this post,i need to tell you this,

pst. ATIQAH , also known as zebra, my ex-ite classmate is now contacting MUHD IZWAN RASHID BIN B. and all thanks to me. *applause + cheer* and now, you can see the change in izwan's attitude after having Atiq in our co-horts. HAHA. so much diff sia bro.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting
stars,
i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.

2010-07-28T18:58:00.002+08:00

I'm freaking bored,

A lot of things happened lately, and the weird thing is, everything happened too fast. First, the chalet. Then , for the first time of my life , I was possessed. I'm not sure if I were really possessed as before that , I drank. And according to my peeps, they said I was drunk at first then got possessed by donoe what. Can you imagine that? Serious, I'm not making up any stories, ask my peeps if you don't believe me. Well actually up to you guys . No one even care if you believe it anot. Right?G

Then , the break up happened AGAIN. I donoe for how many times this happen, but I know I'm almost done . Picture this, you , as a girl ,get drunk, starts to act harshly towards your bf. Then your bf gave up on taking care of his drunked gf , and left you. How would you feel? I mean , of course you hate it if someone hit you . But like come on la, for goodness sake, I'm freaking drunk at that moment. You don't just gave up and leave her. That's very rude okaaay.. But everything's end up quite well, I'm more than happy by just knowing that he find me back. Talk things out and tadaaaa!!! We're back together ! Sounds funny but oh well, that's about us.

As for today, woke up upon efa's text message saying that she'll be chilling at my house this afternoon. But as soon as she reached my place , sent a few resumes then she fell asleep. So much for the 'chilling'.

Boyfriend went home from camp much earlier than usual. According to him , he had his annoying teeth plucked out. Ouch! The sound of it already shivers me out. Well he has already taken his pain killers should be okay for him after his short nap.Well am freaking hungry . I need food immediately ! Where's ibu when I really need her??? Blardie hell!! Hahaha . Fake ajerlaaa. ! I'm hoping to get that job. Amin.

Fasting month's coming soon. I'm not even close to ready for fasting month. Suddenly, I miss secondary school, EH , NO ! NO ! I miss being young. Few more months and I'll lost my teen on my digit. Damn!

Love,

2010-07-14T19:58:00.002+08:00

I freaking hate it when my freaking nose cant stop sneezing.

i was actually blogging at tumblr but half way through i just sign out and came in here. HAHAHA. I know i sound crazy but i dont really know why . freakking bored , i guess. i was blogging bout what happened today. okay let me just do a simple summary of today's journal. woke up at 10 , accompanied darda to Central's Polyclinic then had lunch , head to darda's house, paint nails, plug eyebrows and darda went to sleep. =.='

I had my nails painted pink! yeay. ! went to esplanade for the pathetic interview, while we're on our way back to the mrt, saw this attracting pink shop. and i just cant resist pink, so i drag haris in and found the pink nail polish. i really deeply LOVE pink. Aww. ^.^

Haris and Efa supposingly coming to darda's place but they decided to go back haris house to see the kids. aww.... i miss aqil and qimmie alot! ergh!! the other day met wahidah and aryff at downtown. Aryff is so freaking CUTE, OH MY..... GOD. Thats the other thing which i cant resist, toddles. They'll make me go GAGA. i cant wait to have one of my own and by then i'll go GAGA every single day and every single time i see them. HAHA.

Work , so far so good, so near not good. HAHA. Saw Najib Ali again on gay night. will somebody PUHLEASE ask him to blardie change. he's sucha disgrace to all muslim religion. tsk tsk.

Ok, now about that Kafirun Boyfriend of mine. Firstly, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAR, i know its kinda late to wish him now on FB or here but , ive already wished him at 00:00 , 12/07/19. right on his face. actually we were walking towards his friends at beach road ,and when its 12 am i said ,

me: Eh you, da kul 12, HAPPY BIRTHDAY( with a big smile)

Boyfriend: haha(=.=')

i know imma sweet girlfriend. =____=' hahaha.

well, at least ive wished him. right? He always bug me about his present even about 2 weeks before his birthday he already started to bug me and even my friends for present. biol . and everytime he starts bugging me, i 'll fight with him. and i'll be asking him where's my present then he'll go repeating the same LAME REASON, "ala, that time kite break" . tak mcm pundik tuh? then i tell him, "ok lorh then kite break skrg uh pastu lps birthday you kite matae balek, jadi i takya bli present. " HAHAHA.

ouhya, Boyfriend took out his sparks on his birthday itself and i must say, he REALLY need to start praying to god , or shower himself with water flowers OR, last resort, SUICIDE. He blardie suay sia!! Not even one day riding that bike, kena langgar ready. tsk tsk.

But, still, i love him anyway ...

when you cant quite match your clothes,
or when you laugh at your own jokes,
Thats when i love you more than you know

Reasons.

2010-07-01T03:20:00.002+08:00

Came to Sue's place around 3 afternoon. was abit clueless where to go as staying at home wasnt in my mind at that moment. So, end up calling sue up and came here. Played comp and suddenly sue jio me to create tumblr. And i said , ok. She ended making my tumblr pretty and cute all by herself. maybe she's bored. But, should see my tumblr. Thanks to sue, i got another cute bloggie. But im not too sure if im gonna be too active on that bloggie. maybe after awhile getting use to it then i'll transfer to my tumblr. But meanwhile, i'll shall stick to my one and only bloggie. =))

Life has been great lately, but my health has been a bitch the whole time. i dont really know whats happening to my throat but its killing me. Strepsil doesnt work this time. And im so clueless what to do. Just leave it to time , i guess. Hopefully as time goes by, my throat will be better. But this doesnt stop me from smoking. in fact, i do smoke alot lately. Speaking of Quit smoking, the other day, before bf went in , he randomly said that he wanted to stop smoking. and of course my expression would be, =.=' like real. and see? after coming out i dont even see any less smoke from his mouth. Mcm phm la lu keling kia.

Bf have been really annoying after he came out. Really REALLY annoying. and he kept on saying , he was irritating because i said i miss his irritatingness when he's not around. But really, too much irritating really pissed me off sometimes. but i still love him anyway.

Currently waiting for his call and WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK TO SINGAPORE. I actually do hate following him to Malaysia but, if i didnt follow him, i dont get to see him, if i dont get to see him, i dont get to be with him, if i dont get to be with him, i will miss him , like now? And another thing , if i dont follow him , no one will be reminding him to go home, and if he stays at Malaysia till morning, the day after , he'll get tired to go camp and then make the camp like his father got share with the government. Thats the reason why i HAVE to like ROTTING at Malaysia.

Bf selling his "wife" also known as his bike. i dont know what's in his mind but i do know that he's crazy. So, after this few while , he wont be having his bike, meaning, he have to depend on public transport for the meantime. HAHA.

Between choosing to rot at home and rot at malaysia with bf, i prefer rotting together with him at malaysia. =))

Youre still my number one dear Bloggie...

2010-06-30T20:44:00.002+08:00

Suddenly i feel Switching to Tumblr. Find me . Tralalalalala~

Tell me why.....

2010-06-23T15:25:00.001+08:00

Tell me, why must there be the word SOCCER in this earth? That soccer thingy really getting on my nerves. Mcm ass hole sia. Everywhere i go , people will be like, " whats the score", or, " who lawan who." annoying isnt it?

That sunday , went out with bf and his friends, like finally, we watched the karate kid. While we were buying popcorns and drinks, the guys were literally busy with their phone checking the score for the soccer game. Now, tell me again, which woman doesnt get pissed in that kind of situation?

Someone hit my nose while i was working the other night. I know im small but like , common la, if you hit something or someone , dont tell me you dont realise it? That person didnt even say sorry . Well, nehmine, cursed you! :)) now i feel like my nose mcm senget leh. Hopefully not.

Ever wished to be someone else or even SOMETHING else? Well, for me , if i get the chance to change to anything, i'll prefer to be bf's bike. Why? Because, when his bike's spoilt, he would fix it right away. If his bike gets dirty, he would clean it up right away, if his bikes looks ugly , he would decorate it till it look nice. See?? His bike gets all his attention which i actually need. How lucky to be his bike... ? Very. And thats the reason why i wanted to be his bike rather than to be his girlfriend. HAHA.

July's coming soon. In other words, i'll bankrupt soon. Why oh why must so many babies born on july? Shitto!

I'm a free woman .

2010-06-18T01:49:00.005+08:00

Time has been running so fast this year.. Everytime I looked at the calender , it's already Friday. But it's a good thing though . So many things happened and i can't describe how happy am I this few months.

Went to Cabana with bf , which I forget when.some sort of a Malaysia club. Not as what as I expected . Well, I actually expected worst but not bad at all. In fact I had freaking fun time with all the mechanic people and bf friends. I had so much fun till i don't even realise that I had bruises on my hand. Till now I still can't figure out how on earth I got those bruises . But overall, most importantly, I really had fun.

Few weeks ago, bf went somewhere AGAIN. I'm not allowed to say where but he keep on saying to people that he's going USA . So, whatever la kan. His absent really made me feel something's amiss. Should be his annoying attitude. Now that he's back, after reading my fb post, he irritate me like only god knows how. But i felt happy that he's back. I'm miss him even after I week.

So now, I'm with this two couples waiting for that bf of mine to come and fetch me . He told me to wait for him around two plus. Well it's two plus now, where on earth could he be?????!!!

The other day on work, I didn't know it's was gay night till I saw a few guys licking each other's ear. Really disgusting but I guess I need to get use to it. The lighting man told me that he saw two guys went in the toilet and do disgusting things like you know what. Gross isn't it? Ouhya, I was amazed to see Najib Ali dancing with another guy. Maybe I'm a bit slow about his background, but I totally didn't know he was a freaking gay. Didn't expect a good celebrity like him to be gay.

Where the hell is he!!

I'm a free woman .

2010-06-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile

2010-05-17T21:19:00.004+08:00

Sawadika! i miss you so badly bloggie!! huhauhahuha. So, things has been rather exciting and tiring i must say. First and for most, im back to the place called, JB. haha, Finally , ive renewed my passport after my old passport commit suicide months ago. -.-' Now, i could follow Din go JB. yeay! Work? ive started working at Mimolette with Bobo and Efa and also Izz. Other than working, been very busy with plans such as drinking sessions, outings.... speaking of outings, the other day went a day out with only couples. Me, Din , Efa and Najib. Guess where we went? ICE SKATING. random but freaking fun. i have fun falling down on those cold ice. thanks to Din for pulling me . =.=' ass. Afterthat, went to Marina Square. we decided to splurge money on food after the long day went ice skating with empty stomach. So, Overall , im HAPPY. but certains things do make me pissed like, you know i know.

I love you, but if you stil have that thought of playing around with me then,
just go out from my life. dont waste your effort and waste my time . But just so
you know, i love you really deeply do.. SUMPAH. Please stop breaking what youve already owned. kay?

i love every and each one of them with my whole freaking heart. =>

=))

Singapore General Hospital.

2010-04-26T22:20:00.003+08:00

Came to SGH from evening till now to visit poor Emmie. His childhood sickness came back and attack him. The most elgh thing was when i got to see a tube was poke into his chest. Blardie painful sia. Even by just looking, i could already feel the pain. Darda and Nanie went back earlier as darda need to meet her daddy. Wanted to go back but sara persuade me to stay with her till night. As later at night she needs to go home alone. Nb. But nehmine, even if i went back home early i got nothing to do. Now, emmie talking to his friends. And im sitting by the side listening to their stories, question marks keep appearing in my mind. So i end up taking emmie's iphone, and went here.The other day, went to macdonald as usual, lounge with usual friends and of course din. We played card game called 'cheekys', played the game 'aku pergi....bawak ape.....', and also'fuzzy Wuzzy'. Nyeahaha.. And ouhya the game called ' jon jonni woosh'. You guys should play those games. Super fun. Ive quitted my job . Haha . Okay, till here.. Oh wait, there's something behind these smiles, and you dont even realised it. Haha.

Maybe,just maybe

2010-04-23T17:26:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to come to work to bank in money since there's insufficient worker working today. But Something just hold me back. And furthermore, i need to waste my ezlink credit just to go there and bank in those money then head home. Sounds so pathetic isnt it? So made up my mind, P-A-I-T-A-O. *evil laughs* Currently at darda's crib. i found out something heartbreaking news,

Sometimes i just wonder why guys just cant be as perfect as Romeo, as perfect as
prince charming, or as perfect as my sweet Daddy. What actually do these guys
want from these innocent woman's heart. Why must they broke it when they already owned it? Maybe, to them woman's heart are just not that precious? Getting a
woman shed tears , making a woman worried , making woman feels STUPID, Does all that cruel things happened just for satisfaction? Well shit do hapens, but why
do they keep happening to my life? If only i could have a remote control to my
life, i'll definitely turn back time and fix my messy life. Cause all i could
ask for, is HAPPINESS.

God, i really need your help now, cause i cant do this alone not without your help.

2010-04-14T14:03:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to head home yesterday, but i ended up here at darda's house. why?? That someone literally PAITAO me and i would like to thank him alot. I just dont get it why would you even make a promise when you knew you cant fulfill it. Maybe because, you wanted to make my heart happy by making those promises AT FIRST , But you knew the end will be disappointing. I wonder what you feel when you get to see me disappointed. Must be great huh? Well, Ass you! And the most annoying part was everytime you did wrong, all your wrongdoings will be just yesterdays stories. When the day after comes, you'll simply just forget everything that happened yesterday. In other words, you're the type who didnt want to bring up yesterday's stories , and just live your life for the future. And some part that attitude of yours, sometimes make me love you more. Cause that stupid attitude , is SO YOU. Well like i said before, i'll just hope or better in time.

i actually intend to walk home from RC but My sayang friends says, dont. with this kind of poor health and the weather , they told me to just sleepover darda's place. i didnt want to at first, cause today im working , But they keep on saying dont go work laa, dont go laa.. And the shocking thing was, the most who persuade me not to go to work was that 25 years old bijan. i could still remember how he tries to persuade me with the devil-like sound running through my ears. NB. So ive just woke about 10 plus upon Din's text messages. wanted to just get back to my sleep but this idiotic asthma of mine stops me.

yesterday, i checked my tagged after so long ive left it untouched. read few messages and comments . then not less than 5 seconds , after giving love to darda, i sign out. thinking of deleting it but darda keep on saying then who's gonna gib me love if i delete my acct. so, basically, my tagged are just for giving love to darda. haha

My bloggie seems to be more words than pictures. i miss uploading pictures. nyeahahauahuha.

2010-04-13T22:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday when i was on my way home, i was attacked by my sickness which i got it when i was stilll young, Asthma. Reached home, i ate asthma pills like per normal and went to bed. This morning , when i woke up, i thought that evil sickness has gone away, but instead , something bad happened. i realized i lost my voice. was abit terified hearing my "rock" voice. But i guess i just have to bear this voice for awhile. Few people who had talked to me either face to face or even on the phone, laughed. how caring ! went to sue's workplace earlier to apply job. At first i thought of cancelling the plan but , i may not know if this time i do get the job. i really kinda bored with my current job. After applying job, went back straight home, cause i just cant stand the effing hot wheather. Reached home, and guess what . My parents was karaoke-ing. Either they're bored or THEY WANTED TO MAKE ME JEALOUS KNOWING IVE LOST MY VOICE. O.o While watching daddy's singing, i received a call from kakak. she offered me a job and she said i need to send resume to the workplace. to tell you the truth, resume suck. So, ive already done my resume , and now i end up here. Din wanted to meet me but he's still sleeping . Rain , could you please stop now? So that Din can come and meet me? please? Its funny cause im sweating when its actually pouring rain outside. seriously, i feel like dying. i really hate it when asthma comes and attack me. Alright i guess i end it here. Till next time, toodles. =))

2010-04-12T17:22:00.004+08:00

Gee~ how i miss bloggy. So , my days are much spent with WORK. And of course my sayang-sayang friends and ALSO, yah, good guess, None other than, Din. Our usual place WAS at downtown. Now we've started lounging at whitesands mac. Maybe because more people started to slack with us and most of the time we'll be conquering two tables and plenty of chairs . ouhya, the other day we saw a couple of lizards making love. haha. i know so random, but really, its D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G. Luckily, i wasnt eating that moment. If not, i'll be puking all over that Macdonald. So, other than slacking, Me, Din, Najib and Efa will head to East Coast park to play pool. We tried persuading Nanie and Tino to follow us since Tino now's riding, but Tino seems to be less interested into riding with us. Other than them, the rest was mostly depending on public transport.

Few days back, High fever and Flu attack my poor body. I cant even attend my cousin's wedding due to my fever and flu. i almost feel like dying. And someone even cant be by my side at this very ''PERFECT MOMENT''. but , you know, whatever laa. i really hate the feeling of disappointed. So, i guess i'll just have to hope for better in time.

Kay,i'll be posting ONLY if i got time. till the next post yaw.!

i just want the best in you . please.

2010-03-30T04:33:00.002+08:00

Good morning, just reached Darda house . Supposingly , Darda wanted me and efa to sleepover and spent the night with our poor troubled girl, sara. But in the end, as soon as we reached here, both of our sweethearts were sleeping like a pig. =.=' Peh puks. Before this , we were at whitesands mac chilling as per normal with the normal co-horts. Ouhya, new member have just joined us recently. And that is, efa's new official boyfriend, bijan. eh, sorry, it was supposed to be Najib. haha. Am so happy for my dear efa to finally found someone BETTER. Hopefully , this time they'll last. Kay, So, After chilling, Din, Najib and efa went to Jb for awhile, then meet me back and Din sent me to Darda's place as planned. So as Najib sent efa too. Something bad happened when they were at Jb . pity Najib, tsk tsk tsk. Sial betol tu botak eh.

Been working quite alot this few days after Nanie left . Left only three pathetic part-timers. i mean two. im the only non-pathetic one. =D But im not complaining of tired of working though. instead im more than happy to work more hours. MORE MONEY, yepee! =)) But i really hate it when times i have to work with the philipines worker. they really bad in their eng. i really had a hard time understanding what they are trying say. Not that they have bad eng but, Bad in pronouncing the words. But, whatever it is, NO philipinos could stop me from working. received good news , about 60% im getting a new job. Hopefully. Meanwhile, ive got to work work work this part time job.

My sweet couple, there's always up and down in every relationship. afterall, nothing in the world is perfect. i'll always hope for the best for you guys. =))

"Ey alamak, i like love you more and more laa. "

2010-03-24T21:14:00.003+08:00

hello, its been quite some time didnt update my blog. Cheahaha. Busy? Not that busy, just been staying at home this few days, feeling goodgirl jap. Spending alot of my off day with my sofa, tv and also, catch up with my old indonesia tv series. Work kinda fucked up, few hours and few days. work less, is equals to less money. Fuck fuck fuck. Need to find other job soon. hopefully, the jobs ive applied accepts this poor poor girl here.
The other day, darda came over my house, to karaoke . And guess what? Instead of getting complaint of karaoke-ing at night, we get compliment from my neighbour. Haha,

Currently, at whitesands with usual co-horts. Din was supposingly meeting me here but die mcm nbcb tdo cam babi kan. So, i assume he's sleeping lagi with this kind of wheather so, taqper lah. Forget it. Sweet dreams honey.

Nothing else to blog about, till next time bloggie. Bye sweet earthlings.

H

2010-03-18T00:46:00.002+08:00

Work, kinda fill up my time now. Other than that, of course my beauty sleep. HAHA. Ive been taking any oppportunities that comes by my way. Any extra job, i just took it . and all i could think was MONEY. nothing else stopped me. Not even how tired it could make me. That is what i mean by NOTHING, that could stop me. Other than this part time job, im still looking for a more perfect job . By then, i shall quit this job then, concentrate more on the perfect job. Well, you can say, ive open up my eyes and started to realise that i should not waste any more time but instead,waste my time on finding MONEY for my future.

Besides work, i do got to spent time with Din and of course my sayang friends. Previous occasion was celebrating the dark bear returns. Even for two weeks , it does makes us miss him real bad. Really. I never bluff you one. And gosh! you should see how dark he is now. So dark , till you cant even see him at night. HAHA. fake laa. He treat us drink the other day, pictures all found at facebook. That night which was on Saturday, After drinking few cups, met Din's friends. How i miss chilling with them at ECP. After that headed to Macdonald, then head back home around 5 in the morning. And the best part was, i had to wake up at 7:30 in that same morning for work. =.=' Sibeh tu lan. But, told ya, NOTHING, could stop me from work. NOTHING.

So, im currently at Darda's crib. watching movies. This Morning after work, accompanied Din to his whatever thing. And, must tell you something, taxi driver nowadays, So freaking GEREK. Uncle driver literally drift knowing that we were late to our destination. Suspect impian die nak jadi racer, At last jadi taxi driver. khahahahkakahakha. Now waiting for Din. Not sure if his coming to fetch me. But , ala. WATEVER LA EH.

i love you

But i love them more. =)

My friends say i'm a fool to think
that youre the one for me,
i guess im just a sucker for love.
<3

2010-03-12T16:33:00.003+08:00

Hey, now currently at Darda's crib. The one which used to be my second home. But nevertheless, My first Home is still gonna be my home sweetest home. =)) Todays' plan is gonna be fetching bear bear from hell. Time seems to be so fast in a sudden . it was like just yesterday when bear went into camp. And i cant wait to meet him later on. Conferm da sapau kn bear? hahhaha. Earlier went to work. And guess what, i worked only for like, 4 hours? Fuck nyiiieeeer!! Thats the reason why im still hyper active til now. if it was more hours, i would be ZZZzzzzz by now.

These Few days been just at home sweet home, while having movie marathon with loved family. But the view of that gorilla in the house still annoys me to hell. And she never fails to pick a fight on me, even just because of tiny winy things. Guess she doesnt have anything else to do. Ala, gorilla, FUCK YOU.

My friend, sara needs a model for Brazillian Waxing. Anyone interested? Haha.

Baby, can you be more romantic? Just a little bit more will do. i masih
love you la !

2010-03-09T20:48:00.004+08:00

Currently at Sue's crib. I dont know what the hell im doing right here when Sue is blardie sleeping right beside me. =.=', she was supposed to be studying for her POA exam paper tomorrow but when i look around, she's sleeping like a pig. i wonder what she's dreaming about right now, must be about rahmat. huahauha.

Been quite busy on my weekends. Started to work, and ouh gosh, my first day of work makes me remind of the past. transvoids, refunds, face-ups, and most of all, saying, "Do you need a bag, sir/maam? ". hahaha. But this time the hours has been cut down. So , it doesnt feel the same like last time. well, usually its 8 hours. So, 5 hours kinda short for me. The hours seems short, but the good thing is that i could managed to work without food within that 5 hours. In other words, i could save up my money and eat home food. And ALSO, my timing for work will stay as 5 hours, cause i didnt go for any breaks. GOODgood!. Right after work, went back straight home, eat, then go to sleep.i guess, I just dont get used to waking up so early. BUT, im trying to get use to it. i know i could. Cause according to my primary and secondary school life, i could wake up early frequently. So, it means, I COULD do it but i just CHOSE NOT to. tsk, tsk tsk.. need to eya. For money sake.. =)

That Friday, As like what i said on my previous post, i finaaly decided to come back home. And YES, ibu DID cooked Nasi ayam just for her darling princess. =)) hee. Went back home with Darda. As soon as we reached my corridor, i smell the wonderful ibu's nasi ayam. Put all my stuff, straight to the kitchen. The smell are so fucking tempting, you know. pick up the plate then suddenly, darda called me from the living room saying that ibu's calling her cell phone. Answer ibu's call and guess what? she still didnt noticed i was back home when she was actually inside her room. =.=' Wth?! She came out with her smile, mcm seribu tahon tak jumpe gitu.aiya.. Ate ibu nasi ayam, went to meet ayah then off to Simei , meet Din. Accompany him to do his tattoo. After that, went to Downtown meet the rest and head to Pasir Ris park for some small drinking session. So yah, here's some pictures on that Friday night. More on fb.

He's sleeping right now, He told me to wake him up at 8 . But i dont think i will. He seems so tired. Nevermind laa, Sleep tight hunny bunny. you actually do look like bugs bunny hor. XD.

"If you happy and you know it , you clap your hand....~ "

2010-03-05T13:03:00.002+08:00

My mind has finally decided. Im going back today. Home Sweeter Home, Here i come! nyeahah. ! Called ibu yesterday, told her to cook nasi ayam just for me, Lets see if she really cooked for her one and only princess. =)) i miss home, i miss ibu, i miss aya, i miss my alien younger brother and the most thing that i miss, MY BOLSTER! Afterall, i do need to go back home, cause i need to get my stuff for work. Saturday's my first day. I MISS TRANSVOIDS! nyeahaha. ! Lastly, i miss the smell of street 71, =))

My yesterday, was eventually, spent time with Din. And, Fortunately, he's not botak.. pheeeeuuuw..... only his sideburns kena chop. nyeahaha. He kept saying he has a big chest now, cause he exercise each day within that two weeks. =.='' And you know what? nothing has changed. Still the old skinny Din. So, like WTH . And He was like so excited stepping into the 7 eleven store. He wanted to buy this, buy that. CB. Step mane peh orang kaya pulak. Limpeh kalikong. mai long woh tu lan uh! Sibeh , sibeh. Accompanied him to the hospital to take his mc but eventually he didnt get any mc! nyeahahahaha. Not even half day of mc. Muahahahahuhahuahua! =))

" you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happyyyyyyyy!~"

2010-03-04T13:31:00.005+08:00

Upon the call i received, my eyes were wide awake and surprised. Didnt expect it was him cause according to someone , he was to be released on Saturday. I was like, "somebody , pinch me now!" Damn ! how i miss his voice. Hee~ aku suke aku suke~ now i cant get back to sleep. Too excited to meet him. He said he wanted to eat Macdonald. Nyeahahahha. He said he only ate rice, egg and ikan bilis when he was inside. awww... pity you, Din. I Miss You Laa Budo!Meet me cepat!

Okay, im bored right now. He wanted to settle his bike problems, THEN meet his daddy cause according to him, he said his Daddy miss him soo much. awww... uncle i know how you feel. misssing the irritating-ness at home. i bet when he's gone your home is so peaceful, right ? O.o Hahaha. After all that then maybe he'll meet me. Hopefully.

I cant stop smiling while talking to you on the phone. C= &I dont think i can stop hugging you when we meet. nyeahaha.

2010-03-02T20:05:00.006+08:00

Hey Hello again, second post for the day. weird. It was supposed to be a little nap , But eventually it became a long one. haha. Meeting Sara and Emmie was cancelled . So, maybe i shall just stay at home the whole day. Furthermore, Darda's still having high fever. Looking at her pathetic face, i dont want to leave her all alone at home. Today, its already counted 3 days since she was sick. I really want her to get well soon. Eversince she was sick, No one's here to entertain me. I feel so forlorn right now. =C Suddenly, i felt like home.

Speaking of home, according to ibu, something bad happened at home. Everything little things at home went missing. From money, to Vouchers and even brother's lappy is gone missing. And everyone at home seems to accuse me. How on earth could i do that when ive been missing from home about 2 months now? Ibu told me she suspected someone not me of course . i just hope, whoever did that gets his or her retribution. i swear to god he or she will, someday. But it couldnt be somebody from our own family. i mean why would someone steal something precious from his or her own family, right? couldnt be. i just have to leave this problem to god. God, my family really need your help. For the meantime, i need to help ibu . She needs money for her marketing expenses. She asked from kakak but she said she doesnt have any. how selfish of her. stupid sister.

Earlier i got a text message from sue. she said i was excluded from school. Well now, i guess i need to focus more on earning money. Going to school doesnt help. maybe when im totally ready then i'll think of some solution to get back to school. Nothing is impossible right. For now, MONEY is the main thing i need to get. Well, i do hope i'll achieve my goals. Someday, i'll be the one who helps the family , not the destroyer like i used to be. with God's will.. But the attitude towards kakak will be the same though. Cause i know, im not in the wrong and ive never did wrong to her. why would i give in. ? right? O.o i dont even know whats her problem with me? it all begins when i broke up with Din years ago. And amazingly, till now, not even a word between us. Sisters should have the bonding right? But not on us. Sometimes i do get jealous seeing sisters hanging out together , having fun, sharing laughters and all. But , you know what? i dont care much. As long as im happy with life and makes ibu happy, That's the Bottomline. C=

Now, im trying to find stuff to kill my boredom. ive already washed the dishes, eat, of course done the sleeping....next, i guess i shall watch movies online. =)) till next time, toodles. =]

Din, i miss you, do you miss me? O.o i bet you do ,
right? Nyeahahaha.

2010-03-02T13:46:00.003+08:00

Kinda weird im awake by now. its only 1 pm and i should be sleeping dreaming bout him right now which i always do, thats the only place where i can meet him, dreamland. He's been in my sleep for almost every night without fail. How i wish i could sleep and never wake up. ish! no no, thursday's coming soon. and i cant wait to see him. im still wondering if he's botak or not? hopefully not, cause if he does, he will definitely look fugly shit. haha. Too bad i cant fetch him. But i really do hope that he'll be meeting me right away after he come out from his hell. khakakaka.

So yesterday, was a really tiring day for me. About 1pm, headed to Tampines, to go for my interview at Guardian. i know, i know, wtf? Guardian, -.-' But in this desperate kind moment, i cant be choosy, right? maybe after i got new and more perfect job , i shall just break guardian heart and go for the more perfect one. in the meantime i shall just grab the opportunity to gain more money. So, after the interview, which i got the job right away, went straight to Raffles Place to get my Brazilian Waxing for Sarah since she needed a model for her practise. And gosh, it was Terrifying i must say. Terrified not because of the waxing but because of having three girls watching your pussy. Hahah. But in the end everything went well , Luckily , no scars at all. Good Job Sarah! After waxing, while waiting for sara to end work, headed to Redhill awhile, since me and emmie got nothing to do, decided to chill at his house with his mom and sister, AND THAT was Sara's idea. I didnt want to, but what to do. Around 7 plus, went back to Raffles Place, fetch Sara, went to Downtown to meet the rest, Bobo, Haris, Hakim, Nana, Sabrina and Uddyn. Slack awhile, around 12 went back home sweet home.

And for today, i have no idea what am i gonna do the whole day. Emmie and Sara called, asking to meet up after their couple massage since they have no plans at all. But , my body seems to be restless, maybe i shall get a little nap before going out. can you hear that? my bed's calling me. Nyeahahahah.

k bye?

2 more days & i got to finally see you! yeay!!!

2010-03-01T05:11:00.003+08:00

Hello, Good morning sunshines, its 5 in the morning. Been quite busy, busy with my sleep i must say. =)) Haha, i Get more sleep this days, just because i want this stupid tetek saloma under my eyes too dissappear.ugly you know. Its been every afternoon, sleep at home , and my nights , ive spend it with Amsterdam. nyeahaha. BUT! i drank only at home. Baik kn? Ouhya, efa's already went back home, wondering, when's my turn?

Today well i mean yesterday since its already after 12, initial plan was to go accompany efa reborn her "bz" hair, then meet Han and friends. But eventually, Han cant make it so, end up me, efa and Izz we thinking want to go town area. But again, in the end, our plan to town was cancelled due to the time taken for efa's hair to be fixed. It took 4 fucking hours to fixed her busy hair. Me and izz were there patheticly waiting for time to fly while watching tv. But on second thought, its actually good to be there cause you dont have to waste your home electricity, when you can watch television there for free. =)) So, after the pathetic, long wait , we proceed to the coffee shop nearby to have our dinner. After filling up our stomach, went to downtown east to meet our sara and emmie. ive just knew that Emmie was hospitalized about how many days due to his funny sickness, ( i shall not mention his sickness, hahah) Reached, had a little talk about his holiday at the hospital, then we decided to go play pool. After playing pool, we were clueless where to go , and so, efa 's some sort like a "sugar daddy called asked to meet up. So, Efa was like, " im so bored , where shall i go? " And i randomly say, lets go karaoke! In the end me, efa , nanie and her sugarDaddy end up at the Cash studio , karaoke-ing. And the best part is, that sugardaddy of efa's paid the bill. =)) privileged. Afterwhich, cabbed home and here i am blogging when i supposed to get my sleep for tomorrow's interview. NB.

ps; Darda's lovesick.

4 More days and i get to see you! yeay! =)) Right
after you come out, you'll definitely get shocked when you on your phone, make
sure you count how many text message you received. And every of the text
messages you shall see the three words, "i miss you. " . i really
do.

When Boredom strike.

Pool Session.=))

Karaoke Session.

2010-02-25T17:18:00.003+08:00

We Miss You La Bear! =((

Just came back from Pulau Tekong. ive just finished my NS, da ORD O! nyeahahahahah! FAKE! Just came back sending bear to his first day of National Service. Before that, the day before sleptover Bear's house since bear's mama told us to spent the last night together. Slept at 6 , woke up at 9 , damn! how early was that? Amazingly, i could wake up... *applause* -.-' Of course i must wake up . Anything for my bear. =)) Suppossingly, bobo's coming with us, cause bear only got 5 tickets means, the people who's going is, me, efa, abg haris , mama and bobo. But eventually Bobo didnt turned up cause according to him, he overslept. -.-' like whatever eh bobo. semalam gy maner je. gy jibrak ngn afad per? nyeahaha.!So, in that case, kakak decided to tag along with qimmie and akil, the two adorable yet naughty assholes kids. we quickly dressed the babies then off we go to our some sort like a excursion. hahah. Took bus from pasir ris inter, then head to changi took the ferry to Pulau Tekong. its been so long since i took a ride on a ferry. da naik kn... wooohooo~~ mcm jakon skejap sia... So, reached our destination, walked through the path into the place where you cn see all the cabbage moving. nyeahahah. along the way, akil, the cute kid shows his thumb up to all the people wearing the army uniform. hahaha. Should see how the people react upon seeing the cute small thumb right on their faces. Gooood~ hahahah. Had tour in the camp place , ate then had a short talk in the some kind of auditorium. then more eating then last part saying goodbye to bear. ='(( he wouldnt even took a glance on us cause we know, actually deep in your heart, you wanted to cry upon seeing your loved ones leaving , right? awww.... bear 2 weeks jiiierr. relax, we'll have more fun even more after you ORD O! nyeahaha. But solemnly, i do feel wanted to cry seeing you leaving. =(( and me and efa already started missing you now. First Din, then, Bear, next who? okay back to my journey back home. well, we were all showered by our own perspire. cn you imagine how warm that place is? very. And And, cn you imagine they'll have to exercise each and every day on that kind of wheather? pity men have to do all that shit. now, im so grateful to be a woman. =)) And furthermore , i had to carry that small little tiny winy throw-able kid ALL THE WAY. If you meet me now, im sure youre gonna be surprise . im all muscled up. badan eya da kong mali-kong. Girl sapau tawuu... huahuahuahauhuhaha!

Job, job, job. i need you so badly. Or should i say, Money, Money, Money, i need you so badly. yeah, thats more like it. ! Aargggh! senang² jual jubo uh! nyeahahaha. SIAL AJIIIIEER! NOWAY!

Ouhkay,i just received some hot news from someone. I get to see you even
sooner! yeepeeedeeedooo~ i want to visit you !!!! but how leh? tsk. Can i just
like put a thick face then ajak your mum go visit you? nyeahahah!
but alaaa...... But the best part is youre going out 1 week sooner!! yeay! I
LOVE YOU FATE. you really knew i really miss him hor? But i cant fetch you? tsk!
Your mum, sebok jiiiieeer.. 1 more week to go! =))

2010-02-24T20:42:00.002+08:00

Finally, the fucking painful tembel could be seen now. KNS. ! ugly sia. nabey. Now i had to cover one of my eyes just like the pirates in the movie if i want to go out. Damn it .! Fuck!

Yesterday, nothing much . went to whitesands bought some stuff for Din then to Bedok after that, whitesand macdonald chill with Bobo, Darda and sue. just the four of us. The rest was at downtown. Bobo was thinking heading downtown to meet them but, nah, too tired . Reached home, sleep .

Today, will be meeting efa at Changi guardian. Thank God, everything's fine, i dont actually know what happen but everything seems to be Fine so, thank god laa.

err..... kay, otak blank. Bye!

i miss you laa, babi. =(( Two weeks more to go.. time, cepat² fly... cepat ! cepat lagy! haha. wtf!

2010-02-23T11:32:00.005+08:00

i woke up super early today and i dont know why. Guess i had too much sleep till these eyes wont close anymore. Darda went off to Tampines to accompany wahida baby for her interview. So i on the computer, check through Fb , play some quizes, chatted with people then went blank staring at the comp. -.-' Finally get the mouse click on the new tab , press blogger.com and here i am posting bullshits on my blog. This boredom is stabbing on my chest, and really im gonna die soon if i stays like this for another minute. -.-'

An ugly pimple just appear underneath my lips. NNBCCBKNN! FUCK! and the best part is, there's something in my right eye and i dont know what is it but its fucking painful. nak ckp ade tembel , takder. Lao ade tembel pon, bile mase aku tgk org bogel eh? TSK!

Seeing those plastic bags all packed up, i assume, she's going home tonight. i really didnt want her to leave , but who am i to do so. afterall im not the owner of this house. Even the owner of this house didnt say anything upon seeing those packed stuff , why should i. ? I can say im in a confused state right now. I love both equally. Somebody please help me? One is a bigheader, another one is just a person who has a hard time to give in. And all this are all just because of one pathetic guy. if it wasnt because of him, she wouldnt be doing somthing stupid, and if she didnt do that thing, both of them would still be in good terms. I just want everything to be back to normal. Aiyayayayay.... tolong aku deh! aku bingung!

"I dreamt about you every single night without fail.
And i dont know why.
Funny, cause i actually
like to stay in my dream rather than to be in reality
Reason was ;
you were there in my
dream and i would like to be with you
than to be without you. "

Hahah how come i cn becaome so emo? i donoe. =))

2010-02-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

Body seems to be weak eventhough ive already fully charged it yesterday night. Staying at home made my time fly so slow but i cant help it . My brain's instructing this feet not to move till my health is perfectly fine. Thank god , my flu's gone, only left with difficulty on breathing. im still smoking though . but i smoke mentol instead of red cause red is obviously worst than mentol right, duuhh! -.-' Staying at home with Darda and Komeng could be quite fun with that monkey's bullshits makes us laugh our ass out. its been 4 days since Komeng sleptover Darda's place. But he just left home earlier. No more funny shits. Damn! I didnt know why , i was so effing clumsy yesterday. First , i accidently hit the ashtray and all the ashes fell on the ground. Then, after awhile , i accidentally dropped a glass of water on the ground. And because of my clumsiness , me and darda's feet are then shed with blood because of the tiny winy piece of glasses on the floor. Aiya ! wa munya kaki manyak saket wo !

Lets talk about this one friend of mine whom i loved whole-heartedly equally to the others. Every woman wants/needs their own happy ending lovestory. "Most guys", Satisfaction are just what they are searching for . NOT TRUELOVE. well , this friend of mine ( name are not to be mention ) , always get the "most guys" am talking about. Just when she wanted to be true, disaster strucked her lovelife. But, girl, im sure God has his own reason why he put your fate this way. just make it as a lesson. We're really pissed off with her, when we got to know she did something behind our backs. THAT THING YOU DID is unreasonable girl. dont be stupid . dont ruin your life just because of those pathetic guys who have done shits to your life. ITS NOT WORTH IT. We really care for you but instead,you cold-shouldered us. BUT, one thing for sure, we love you still.

ps ; i miss him . Time, can you do me a favour? please fly faster. Thank you. =))ouhya, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IBU , dah besar mak aku nie eh. hadiah nanti² kay. love you ibu!

2010-02-21T18:21:00.009+08:00

Ever felt lovesick before?Well am suffering from that sickness now. i guess i miss him so much and all the worries is hurting my brain. i didnt know his absent could be this bad . This flu is pissing my nose off. And the best part is im having second day of "redlight". Feeling like just want to stab this fucking womb. But i couldnt possibly do that right? i'll die and i cant meet him in three weeks time. But on second thought, i could watch him from above. BETTER. -.-' okay da eya, Lame²... Its only like about three days, haiya.....

Yesterday, Went to Raffles City to have my interview at Timberland. Talking to the boss was abit scary. He talked like as if he's trying to say that my world's gona end soon. you guys should see how he talk. really. Very Scary. After the interview, he told me that there will be 2nd interview with the bigger boss. OMG! But aniways thanks hor huda... appreciate much babe . So, after the interview, went to bugis to eat Long John Silver. i Dont know why i was craving for ljs in a sudden. After eat, bought some stuff, then went to Vivocity cause efa wanted to meet her date but eventually her date didnt show up. how suay was that? But our journey to Vivocity wasnt a waste at all. we got to see paintings from china. And i must say they were Fantastic . seeing those paintings made me want to paint again. how i miss painting so much. i really do love arts. especially the potraits. Beside paintings, we do get to see fake Micheal Jackson. There was this small boy all dressed up just like MJ , and he actually danced in the middle of the place just like MJ. how cuuuute!! After watching the short entertainment, went off to Kovan. Thought of paying a little a visit to my old colleagues . And Damn! i miss Molly so much! hahah, had a talked awhile then went off. on our way to the bustop, the GATAL KFC riders want to ask for our numbers. Hahaha. Kelepeh sia. mintak dgn sopan nak mampos . But too bad , we aint that type laa aiya... went back home sleep .

About 11 pm, Han called wanna meet up cause he wanted to celebrate bear's leaving for NS. So went riding in a van awhile together with loved friends . Then back home and stupid Komeng sleeping at our place. NBCCB!. Woke up , sick. how suay.

OK im hungry!! need to eat.

2010-02-19T21:02:00.008+08:00

Today's Friday. Supposingly, fridays we shouldnt be at home. im mean its friday night you know. But my body kinda restless today, so staying at home is much more better. And furthermore, tomorrow will be a long day as ive already make plans for that day. Meaning, i shall get a good rest today. well yesterday Colin came down to take the sales money and also gave my 3 days pay. He begged me to come work tomorrow but i said i'll see how. But yeah, eventually, i didnt go. too tired to even open my eyes. Yesterday, For the second time komeng finally came down pasir ris. nyeahaha. i do pity darda you know. everytime he wanted to meet darda, she had to go all the way to commonwealth just to meet him. Like, For goodness sake, she's a girl asshole. ! Guys SHOULD be the one to come down and meet the girl. NOT the other way round. true? whatever laa. as long as darda's happy, im happy too. So, Komeng overnight darda's place with us. Watched movie "SMS'' , not even halfway through the movie, ive already ZZzzzzzz..... HAha . And guess what, i really had a goodnight sleep yesterday. =)) Never felt ive a enough sleep before. woke up, checked my phone, i received a text message from colin. aww... sorry colin, i cant help it . My dream wont let me go. So, now, Komeng still here, sleeping and darda watching tv with Boi . we were watching " case 39" earlier, but eventually , the movie get stucked and the internet explorer just closed in a sudden. NABBBBEHHH! im hungry. im growing fat back. Damn. !

My phone kept quiet the
whole day. ='C puas hati buang nie hp kn? its been about 29 hours since he's
been gone. ouh how i miss his voice. tsk. taqder public phone ker kt saner? call
jap ker. aiya.. Boring laa... i wonder... How is he now eh? what he's doing
right now? What did he eat today? what is he wearing? Did he brush his teeth?
Anyone bully you inside? or maybe the other way round ? Cause according to him,
he always bully his campmate. Jahat kn? aiyayayaya! This feeling is sucking me
laa... I MISS YOU NBCB!

Sheesha-Session pictures.
Like, FINALLY, the pictures are here. more on FB.

2010-02-18T23:58:00.006+08:00

Its only like 8 hours ago, but i already miss you. God Damn It!

BUT ! he'll be gone only for three weeks. should be a fast one. At least he's inside , ive no worries abt him cheating me. true? but i'll still miss him though. who am i suppose to irritate if its not you . i'll shall bear with it for three weeks. And don worry, i'll fulfill my promises. Don worry laa i will never ever find somebody new for sure, you know i always come back to your love, boy. why would i go for a search again when i know the end will be.

"every step i take, every move i make, every
single day , every time i pray, i'll be missing you . "

Just when i said i wanted to put aside what i hate and concentrate more on the money i get, hahaha, ive changed my mind. earlier, fought with Kevin , pissed off, finally , i initiated to quit the job. nyeahahaha. Well, cant be blamed. when am hungry, i tend to get pissed off easily. fuck him upside down inside out then said i wanted to quit the job. then he went begging me not to stop working. hahaha. kept calling me but i didnt answer his call. show me attitude some more laa, i show you my attitude. eventhough i kept quiet everytime you nag at me, doesnt mean you can drag all your nonsence into my innocent ear, asshole. So, tommorrow wont be working. Gonna find new one soon. pray hard i will. now currently waiting for collin to come under the void deck to collect today's sales money and also take my 3 days pay.

A minute ago, called ibu. how i miss ibu's voice. =c talked to ibu about how she's doing and is everything fine at home and she said everything seems to be worst at home. tsk, wait kay ibu? i get money, i'll help you and aya soon. sabar k. i miss your nasi ayam laa ibu.....

Lambatnyer kao collin...

2010-02-18T03:07:00.004+08:00

Check through Darda's comp & found this picture.

i dont actually know when's this picture was took. whatever.

*Blurp!!* Just finished eating mee goreng . Yummy! been quite abit busy lately. Reason why, ive started working. But....... , only temporary . He really needs a worker so badly. i was thinking of finding a proper job but maybe , in the meantime i could find some cash since im really really desperately need money so BADLY. This time round, abit more hours of working thus, it makes me less enjoy the outside world. but you know, whatever. cause in the end of the day , i got money and i could enjoy my days without depending of loved friends money. i dont like when they treat me every single event we made but they insist on treating me knowing that im so chialat. pfft! Next time it will be my turn to treat you guys aite? well, i dont quite like that place actually. but what to do.... For now, i'll shall just put aside all that i hate and just focus more on MONEY.

Waiting for saturday to come. Really hope that i'll get a job soon. And when i do have one, i shall prove him wrong. Just wait. Then maybe , just maybe, get my nails done by sara.

he's going in maybe tomorrow. im really gonna miss you. gona miss the fuck face he always did when he gets angry. gona miss getting PAITAO often . gona miss him laughing at his own jokes. nyeahahaha. BUT ! JUST MAYBE. Hope not. *pray hard

&don worry, all the promises ive made to you, i'll do it. Afterall, promise IS A PROMISE.right? =))

Aya said i need to be more careful . Somthing scary is following me. i dont know what was it. okay, my hair all standing up right now. maner buku yassin? IBU!!!! YAH TAKOT!!!!!

bye!

2010-02-15T17:01:00.005+08:00

Okay im kinda feel weird right now. Am i dreaming or what? somebody pinch me now!

Woke up this afternoon, scratching my head wondering why on earth i dreamt about Dinesh's ex-girlfriend, Huda. i dreamt that we were in this some kind of room chilling together with dinesh. -.-'' And it was totally like real. Usually, i mean most of my dreams i cant remember it well . but this dream its kinda different. Woke up, went to the bathroom, wash my face and all. on the Comp, and listened to music just to make me less scared in this scary room. Then while checking my fb and stuff, i received a call from dinesh saying that he had already given my number to his ex-girlfriend. i was like , " huh? For what? Why the sudden? " okay that part ive already started to feel weird. Then, She called me. She asked me whether if i want a job or not. if its you , what would you feel? of course weird right? Like last night i dreamt about her then suddenly, woke up, she offered me a job. ?? o.O? Okay, Whatever it is, good enough she wants to offer me job. Afterall , i do need a job .

Eventually Valentines Was a BITCH. Eventually, I went to Arab street to Have a Sheesha-Session with the Bachelors And Bachelorette, which is me , Bear, Izz and Efa. Only the four us. How cute was that? Took Alot of photos but all of them are at bear and izz. Will upload once i got them. After That , took bus went downtown. Waited for bobo then slack till 3 then off we go home. Supposingly, somebody wanted to meet me and bring me out but we end up sitting under the void talking about him loosing money on his gambling. So much of your HAPPY Valentines Day. pFft! Whatever lah eh.

Today, will be going Karaoke again. Wee! im still wondering where's this one bitch of mine. Darda Baby, Where you? ive been calling her phone but she didnt pick up. tsk! Risau aku. Agak² ler. Valentines Da abes ler. Balek laa!!

Ouhkay, TOODLES PEOPLE!

2010-02-14T15:55:00.007+08:00

Its Valentines Day Lah!

its 4 pm now, and im saddened to say, AM STILL AT HOME. My babies were all out with their own valentines. Boo Hoo Hoo! KNNBCCBMFA. ! Am currently waiting for him to wake up and bring me out . ! Cepat lah! im so not used to not celebrating valentines day. But im not surprise if i dont enjoy this year's valentines. cause its so clear that he's SO not into this romantic stuff. But Oh well, what to do. I JUST WANT MY ASS OUT FROM THIS HOUSE. OMG ! PLS !

February 12,

I went to ;

Grandlink ~ Karaoke Session

Bugis ~ Makan At Tong Seng .

Bugis Street ~ Jalan² With Him To buy His New Year Clothes.

Simei ~ .....

Pasir Ris Park ~ Drinking Session.

With loved friends. i love them all ~

But unfortunately, the moment i reached Pasir Ris Park, the drinks were all empty. And Darda, Sara And bobo are already gone . pfft! Rabak ! And btw, Thanx izz for the extra cash. i couldnt imagine handling two drunked ladies walk home. XD

This computer is being such an ass. I cant upload most of the pictures. Anyways, The rest are at FB. =))

2010-02-11T20:13:00.006+08:00

Im so effing tired now.And i dont fucking know why.Im not working nor schooling so that's what makes me wondering why the hell am fucking tired about.Maybe im too tired of resting.Must be.My feet are dying and asking for forgiveness after the long and tiring walk at town.Before that me and Darda went to dhobyghaut around 3 pm for her interview. Then called Komeng as he said he wanted to meet us at town. But in the end , he told us to come down tanglin instead. -.-'' pariah peh budak. Did i told you the day before about what pathetic thing happen to us? early in the morning , i cant get to sleep due to the scary house phone which triggers me out. i mean the phone on by itself without anyone touching it? scary liao... ok² back to where i stop. Darda was talking on the phone( her handphone i mean. ) with Komeng. Then Komeng randomly asked us to come down to Commonwealth just to slack with them? crazy people sia. and that was like 6 in the morning. And so, feeling so bored and cant get to sleep, we followed his plan. get ready and about 7 in the morning, took train and the best part was from Pasir ris to Commonwealth we stood all the way through the 20 stations. Two words, Kepala-Buto! Reached our destination, called Komeng and guess what? those BABIs didnt answer our 24 calls. THEY WERE HAPPILY SLEEPING LIKE BABIs . One word & Eight Letters, P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. ! So, feeling so upset , took train putting our frown faces through out our journey to home. idiot.

Let me continue what i did yesterday. After Komeng promised me to blanja me food, i finally agreed to come down Commonwealth. Reached, slack at Wak house awhile then head down town to meet loved friends. There's this guy one of Komeng's friend, Komeng said he wanted to get to know me. First Impression? YULK! so typical matreps. and guess what's his age? 16 coming to 17. -.-' ya allah! wa bley panggil lu adek siol. adeq wa sendiri tue lu, tapi stahon je uh. HAHAHA. XD After walk slack at youthpark about 10 plus bobo, bear , sara , emmie and sheik went back home. i actually wanted to just go back home. But then, house key was with efa, and efa's going back bear's house. so, i had no choice but to follow darda .& Let me Repeat I HAD NO CHOICE. Some people just dont get it the meaning of no choice. So then, me , Darda, Komeng and Elfie went to BEO, somewhere at tiong bahru to fill our empty stomach. After eating went to this one masai place some sort of a playground and we waited for this one guy for about 2 to 3 hours . Fucking bored sia. i could actually die like another minute sitting at that boring place. but Amazingly, im still alive. -.-'' After that guy came, we went to his house as his mom wanted to offer us drink. but i dont really have the mood to drink. and when i said i dont have the mood , MEANS I DONT HAVE THE MOOD. Get it? So, Komeng's friend pour coke in my whole glass silently without the rest noticing. And they actually thought i was drinking but the fact was that my glass was alcohol-less. HAhaha. Thank you so much Komeng's friend. after awhile, head back home then sleep like a pig. =))

So now, im thinking what my future would be like. ? i really need to do something about my boring life. Need to find a proper and of course stable job since now my interest in studying are gone. tsk! God? i need your help here!

2010-02-10T04:11:00.007+08:00

147cm & im saddened to say, that number will stay till the end of my life. :C

pass me some of your height can?? -.-?

Hello² God's Creations. ! just came back from whitesands macdonald. met loved boy-friends . And they were all drinking beers except for me and bear. we both were too busy with our psp . Haha. nothing else that we can do. Before that, i was from jb with Dinesh and his brother . Dinesh's brother drove us to that ' Skudai-Paradise' just to collect Dinesh's donoe-what-thing. Thank God , i dont have a brother like Dinesh. can die uh! Huhu. From jb, Dinesh's brother sent us to Dinesh's home and from there, Dinesh sent me to whitesands macdonalds. Did i told you that Dinesh has already changed his bike to single-sitter . die punyer single-sitter punyerlah ke atas. kalao boleh die nak sampai 90 degree agaknyer. da mcm nak kene jubo. Da lah moto da tinggal rangka jer. sexy betol motor die. Thats why lah Dinesh so in love with his "wife".

Nyeahahaha.

my eating order has improved quite alot. ive been munching food non-stop these few days. good kn²? haha no more nightmares about that aneroxia thingy. yepee! =))

suddenly, i miss my mummy and daddy. :C they didnt even give me call to check on me anymore. do they even care about me anymore? okay, i want to cry now. :'C tsk! fuck this feeling!

bear told us that we planned tomorrow which is today morning, wanted to go greenview to pay a little visit to our old beloved teachers. but i dont think we could manage to wake up that early. but we'll try ok? no promises.

"I can't get out of bed today

Or get you off my mind

I just can't seem to find a way

To leave the love behind
I tried to give you everything

But you just gave me lies
Say you want me back

But you never do

I feel like such a fool"

ps:I hate you but I love you

2010-02-09T02:58:00.016+08:00

morning²! just came back from downtown .

ouh hw i miss my bloggy! -.-?

this few days have been a quite busy day for me.

morning till night, sleep.

night till morning, out,out,out.

lets recall where ive been.

ever felt being a illegal immigrant before?

sucks BIG TIME.

dinesh wanted to go jb to change his pipe.

but eventually my passport photo still havent changed yet.

usually, the custom would just give a reminder and i'll just nod my head.

but this time round, i was REJECTED to come in johore.

so, the lady told us to U-turn.

and guess what we did? eh ! i mean dinesh.

he went against the lady's words ,

and just went in jb WITHOUT our passport been stamped.

i was so petrified towards dinesh's action.

came to ahkiang's shop , quickly change his pipe, bought ciggys then back to the checkpoint.

Luckily nothing bad happened to us. pheeeuuw!

NO MORE OK?

that saturday,

woke up upon dinesh's call at two in the noon.

get ready,

went in jb again.

but this time, i got through jb checkpoint. LUCKY.

went to city square shop for dinesh's new year's clothing.

done shopping back to ahkiang's shop.

they were talking, but i fell asleep on the sofa.

guess i was too tired.

went back s'pore early cause at night went riding with jimmy and friends.

met jimmy all at yishun, then to marina barrage then to yishun damp.

basically, that day was really fun and tiring.

so tiring till when i reached home, straight away ZZZzzzzzzzz...

Sunday,met loved friends at tamp.

had our nails done by nanie( the free-manicure-begerak)

then head to whitesands cause we thought bobo said wanted to slack at whitesands.

but eventually, they went to downtown instead.

so, me, darda and nanie head down to downtown met bobo, izz abg haris and hakim.

thats it.

Sunday's pictures.

see the misai? last warning!

our water babies. cute kn²?

overdue pics.

earlier went to downtown again to meet loved friends again.

this time sara and emmie were there.

i get so jealous with this happy couple of mine.

with god's will , they're settling down soon.

hope so.

im so happy for you guys.

how i wish...... :c

ive said it once, said twice that it hurts but still you're doing it again. you dont changed , you dont learn, so tell me how am i supposed to bring you back in my life again. you said what youve never meant when you know actions DO speaks louder than words. you kept on saying sorry. but that heartbreaking thing kept on repeating. am waiting for the time you really change. i mean for the better. just do one thing and i'll come back to your life, prove it that you're really worth it. simple. hate to say this but i do still love you though.

fuck you.

2010-02-05T01:47:00.008+08:00

Firstly, IM FUCKING glad ive already got new pair of contact lenses! i cn now see the world!! the moment i wore those contact lenses i say ,"Hello World!" . -.-'' okay, iknow, am being pathetic right now. And That is because someone fucking pissed me off earlier. Damn! ive should just follow efa and haris jason maraz. okay, i know, you all will be like, " siow uh ni pompan , kejap happy , kejap mara." hahaha.

the storyline for today goes like this. initial plan for today was to go bugis and shop , shop, shop. setted our alarm clocks at 10 in the morning. but in end.... yup²! you got it right, eventually we woke up at 4 in the afternoon. cant help it, our dreams wont let us go. so, by then, darda aka our motherfucker, had to go off to work. so, left me and my stupid younger sisterfucker , efa all alone at home. we on the dvd player watch a quarter of this one show then we decided to just off it and had a small talk. everytime we both were together , there MUST be a story to talk about. and i mean NEVER ENDING STORY. so, ate the food that darda's mum cooked, and fyi, i ate half a plate, but efa ate double of the plate and her stomach still hungry. what kind of stomach is that?o.O wierd but true. and scary. Then, we suddenly decided to go tamp to buy my contact lenses, since we're free. so get ready, about 7 off to tamp. bought my needs then took the train to bugis since efa was so eager to buy new dresses. reached, ate long john , and btw, am not the one eating but instead it was efa. see? told ya her stomach's wierd. damn wierd! then after that head to money-stealer-place which also known as bugis street. -.-' efa shop all she wanted like as if that place was her daddyfucker's place. nbcb. then , about 10, Dinesh called wanted to go jb. wanted to just ask him go by himself , but i forgot that his passport was with me. -.-' so, waited for Haris Jason Maraz to come and pick us up and they sent me to simei mrt then meet Dinesh.

the annoying part starts right here..

met Dinesh, and he told me his "some-kind-important-FRIENDS" asked to meet up at the very last minute. i mean, he all the way rushed me down to simei and at last! he wanted to go somewhere else. tell me, who on earth would be happy if that kind of sitution occurs to their life? NOONE! Argh! pathetic, idiotic, Cheebai-tic! okay², enough venting my anger. so, called bobo and meet him at whitesands macdonald. all the way through slacking with bobo , Dinesh keep on texting me " sabar k syg... kejap k syg... jgn mara k syg...." wahpiang! Limpehkalikong! cb cb.... after awhile, decide to head back home and so, now, got nothing to do, and that Dinesh asked me to wait for him till his done with his "some-kind-of-important-business" then , he wanted meet me. tried to sleep but you know i cant sleep without my BABIes right.? so, end up here, vent my anger out. Blardie hell. If only the that-one never that-one to the that-one, Dinesh wouldnt go to the that-one problem sia.............nabueeeei teng²! FUCK TO THAT-ONE SIA!

yesterday, went to his small race. and yup² , he won. and the funny part was , the guy who loose to Dinesh still have the cheek to do superman on his bike? -.-'haiyoyo thambi. and we came like only four of us? but they came about 10 of them? we were like the fantastic four , eh NO² ! more to PATHETIC FOUR. haha. and Dinesh is "the thing" cause he actually said that he got muscles only that his muscles he kept it at home. -.-' lame nyer kao!!! did i told you that day i heard Dinesh talks in chinese with colin? i thought i heard wrongly, but nope, He sure did. he's really a multi-racial guy. i wonder when will i can get to listen to him talking in tamil. ^.^ his dad said, he could. haha.

ok lah, done typing. suddenly i feel hungry. better check the fridge if there's anything i could fill my stomach with. toodles. !

2010-02-02T11:18:00.014+08:00

supposingly, i HAVE to go to school today. eyes were wide open upon the text message i received. and guess who? MDM SAPIAH. she called me yesterday, asking me how am i , where am i, why i didnt go to school.....blablabla...she's really worst then my mother. she told me to come to school today but i told am sick and my body's burning hot. and really, im still having this idiotic fever. maybe because ive this eating disorder plus i didnt have any enough sleep. so morning texted her saying i cant make it today and she told me to come tomorrow. she really cares about me huh? but actually, she's nice, understanding but annoying at times. i woke up and see my two BABIes werent in the room. check the whole house, and it was empty, people-less. noone's at home, only me. wanted to get back to sleep but i simply cant . i cant sleep without my BABIes around. so, went to the telephone called dinesh cause he texted me this morning telling me that he'd reached to his camp. so he accompanied me otp since am all alone at home. hung up cause he said he wanna sleep . sometimes i wonder is that his camp or his second home. o.O he keep on telling me not to contact other guys except him, repeatedly. literally repeat that sentence every ending part of our conversation. -.-'

Well, yesterday, went to "skudai paradise" also known as jb, -.-' AGAIN. i wanted to just rest at home , but he wanted me to accompany him to jb since he was all alone. and so, i followed him. furthermore, my head spins more faster every second i stayed at home. i guess i needed fresh air but end up i get dirty-motorbikes-air. pfft! otw to the checkpoint, something bad happened. his front tyre got pancet. i was so scared everytime the bike wobble on the road. but thank god , we arrived to jb safely. phheeeuuuw! reached, saw cherming , the fucking adorable kid was sitting the chair watching a tom and jerry show. the funny part was that, the show was on paused. i dont really knew what was he concentrate on the tv. -.-'' bought new sticker for my helmet. yeay!! now my pooh got new ear and butt. hahah. and additional, he bought a sticker of our names for our helmet. since he peel out my name from his black helmet cause he said that he was too pissed off with me the moment he knew i went to club. lame kn excuse dier? padahal nak kasi pompan yg tompang die pakai helmet tuh. think i stupid ar? nbcb. so, after fixing his tyre, test his bike awhile then head back to singapore.

today's plan is to go make new specs and get a new contacts lenses. i cany stand any longer living each day without seeing the clear view of the world. then maybe just maybe head down "skudai paradise" again cause dinesh need to test his bike once again as his race is the day after.

to you, Dinesh.

"You're everything I thought you never were. And nothing like I thought you could of been. But still you live inside of me, So tell me how is that? You're the only one I wish I could forget. The only one I love to not forgive. And though you break my heart you're the only one. And though there are times when I hate you cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face. And even now while I hate you it pains me to say. I know I'll be there at the end of the day. I don't want a broken heart. And I don't wanna play the broken hearted girl.
Sometimes I feel you not deserving me. And still you're in my heart but you're the only one". =))

And girl,

like you said, he's your boyfie, he cant possibly said that other girls are more attractive than you right? and hey, you know what? im getting bored fighting with you over dinesh.sumpah kao boring la. pfft! i dont know what the hell got between both of you. what is right and what is wrong. who speaks the truth and who dont. blablabla... DO YOU THINK I CARE?whatever it is. you got your boyfie. so? according to dinesh your nothing but just a friend. so? what more you want? you said matan is everything you wanted then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING HARD TO MAKE ME JEALOUS with dinesh and whatsoever. sungguh taq perlu. mula² ckp kawan pastu nak buat jealous taq menjadi, ape maksod? tol taq ako ckp ko merepek? and the more you try to reply me, the more i get my yawnzz... so, stop the bullshits . and i'll stop mine. and btw, thanks for being a loyal reader here. awww.... *touched* much appreciated girl. =))

2010-02-01T00:50:00.003+08:00

im so patheticly sick right now. my whole body is shivering , my head is spinning and my throat is irritating. came back home two hours ago from jb with dinesh. came home earlier cause this fever is making my body kinda weak. am typing squeencing my eyes cause eventually, my specs were gone missing the other day. and the best part, my contact lenses were lost too. actually, i dont feel like blogging with my weak body and small eyes. but then, i just cnt go to sleep cause it feels so awkward sleeping alone without my babies around. they were out with their dates and me? all alone feeling so pathetic doing nothing. previous post was kinda long isnt it? i could actually make an essay out of it. told ya i got alot to blog about. actually i got more to type but since my eyes are asking for forgiveness and the bed keep calling me non-stop, so decide to just stop there. thats why the ending was abit weird.

kay, let me continue the story on saturday.

as usual, woke efa up at 1 for work but then, she said she isnt going to work but instead she wanted to take an mc since her hand was some sort of distorted due to the police who pushed her. so get ready and went straight to the doctor get an mc head down to coffe express to meet wahidah baby and aryff. and guess what? aryff had already learnt how to walk! damn effing adorable.! after that, aya came down to pick us up and send us to east coast to meet komeng and elfi. reached, and then dinesh called wanted me to follow him to jimmy's friend's birthday. so, watching my babies with their dates, i decided to follow dinesh's plan. he picked me up at ecp straight to Giant meet the rest and head down to tampines. how i miss his friend's alot. so after so long didnt meet up, as per normal, gossip, gossip and more gossip. they actually knew what happen between me and dinesh. and they really hate dinesh for doing so. while slacking and talking, the police suddenly came and screen us. cb. went off early cause my eyes irritate me so much till i just wanna pull out my eyeballs. but don worry i didnt. am not that stupid. reached home waited for my BABIes to come back home then off to my dreamworld.

SUNDAY, which is today, -.-''

dinesh called asking me to accompany him to jb . since ive got nothing to do, and i had no plans, decide to follow him along and furthermore, i really miss e-ching and cherming. came down and played with the adorable kids. somehow, i just felt i miss the old times. bought chicken rice and as per normal i felt like puking and upon looking how skinny i am, dinesh fed me. how sweet.... i like it when he's sweeter part. damn ! now i starting to miss him. tsk! went back home around 10 or 11 or ....whatever..we had a short conversation under the void deck. we talked about him having a new bike and i go" stop wasting money , youre so typical chinese. blablabla..." i'll always start nagging when he talk about wasting money. then , somehow or rather, i dont know how we came to the conversation of getting engaged and get married. -.-''weird but funny. then he told me about him ignoring that girl calls. well, its so clear who's the desperate one. hahah. no offence yaw=)). reached home, talk otp with him awhile and told him to get to bed early since he's working tomorrow morning. SO, now..... am smoking non-stop . darda just text me and she said she's otw home. Lincah siket! this boredness is killing me alive! -.-''

okay i know iknow.. its weird why am still contacting him when ive already said i wanted to severed all ties between us. explaination; he's the first guy i had the longest relationship with. although he did uncountablde shits to me and all i do is be patient and forgive him. in other words what am trying to say is, i dont want my patience to be wasted. all this while ive been patient to his behaviour and why must i just give now right? one thing i believed that people COULD change . HUMAN do make mistakes. BUT i didnt say that we 're back together, ONLY that am just going with the flow. i dont know whats going to happen tomorrow and onwards, but i'll just open up my arms ad embrace the mysteries. =))

he said, ignore that insane girl on my tagboard . and so, i'll shall listen to him. =)) better thank him , girl. your just wasting your time. hahah.
and furthermore, he said youre pathetic. you find dinesh when matan is in camp, but when matan's with you, not a single call from YOU he received. woops, did i just spill
it out?hahahahahah.

2010-01-31T05:18:00.006+08:00

OUH-AMM-GEE sia! Dang! i miss typing.

ive been missing for a few days and ive so much to blog about. and now since am free, i'l tell you what ive been doing for the past 4 days. isit 4 days or 5 or.... whatever. okay lets start it from Wednesday,

before going to work, three of us, me, darda and efa, promised to ourself to come home straight from work. So, we really did that. right after work straight home. Reached home, we tried darda new speaker. and the music was effing loud. then we were thinking about the music in the club and how we missed going to club and dance to the music. so, randomly, efa said, " st.james kapah!". and furthermore , it was wednesday night. so, upon the random thought of going club, we called mon, the powerhouse bouncer so that we could get in the club much more easier. get dressed in less than 30 minutes off we cabbed to st james. and there we go dance and dance like there's no more tomorrow. after the music stopped met mon and he brought me to meet my so called "aya" at dragonfly as he was working as the bouncer of that club. met "aya" and i said, " aya , eya gy club tawuu.. aya tak marah kn?" , he replied," taqlah , aya understand.." "aya" really made me laugh my fucking ass out. after which, cabbed home and we really enjoyed our day.

the day after, went to work . dinesh texted me. asking me whether he could meet me . i said if you want meet, come and find me lorh. and surprisingly, he did. came to my stall and he was abit shocked of how skinny i am. after work, rush home. get ready, and off we cabbed to club again. but this time round, we went to double o. and ALSO, this time bear tag along. drank a couple of jugs , and as per normal, efa and me went to the dancefloor. from first level to the second then to the higest level of the dancefloor. and guess who was in the double o. guess la! guess la! DINESH. yup. that guy and the girl too . but, i couldnt care much less about them and the only thing in my mind was to dance and dance and more dance. dinesh kept pulling me out everytime a guy tried to dance with me. but again, who cares? weve broke up. afterthe music stops, went out to have some ciggaretes. along my way out dinesh pulled me and asked me how im going home. and he told me to go home with him. while talking, that girl, you know who. came to dinesh and tried to cut our conversation and pulled dinesh away from me. she literally hit my hand off from dinesh's hand. so, i asked her whats her problem, but eventually before she could even speak, bear push me away and told me not to start a riot in that club. so, went to slack at one place and while i was smoking, a girl came to us walking "sat-sat" shouting, "sapa langga kikilala" . we're all clueless and so, my friend told her ,"sapa yg langga kikilala siol" . okay, this part what am about to tell you gonna make you laugh your fuxkin ass out. a girl, came running towards me, ran and jump by my side, i mean literally jump, and pulled my hair. think back about the situation, THAT was freaking funny. either she's crazy or drunk. i dont know. i mean, if youre that fanatic , let me suggest you, punching? or maybe slapping? cause whoever you are, pulling hair really doesnt make you fanatic. but, more to "kelepeh" .then, the "girlfight" starts there. darda pulled me to a guy asking that guy to hold me tight and dont let me go. but looking at my friends fought for me, i couldnt be just watching right? i struggled hard to be released from that donoe-who guy, and then another guy came and help that donoe-who guy to hold me. all the police was there trying to stop things out. and so the donoe-who guy pulled me into donoe-who's car and he drove us to donoe-where place. abit satisfaction upon seeing darda punched the insane girl who pulled my hair. see? whoever mess with me, their messing with my bestfriends too. our intention to go clubbing was to drink, dance and have fun but somehow rather, i dont know how the hell it came to that. well it happen so fast . they just dont know the definition of clubbing.

Who, would come to the dancefloor only to take pictures and not dance?? hahah.

friday, we stayed at home, and night, dinesh called asking wanna meet to check on me if am ok.

had a chat and found out there was a girl who no-effect kick efa was a complete stranger. dinesh said she wasnt one of them. Tompang gembire siol tu pompan. nbcb.

and so, the story ends like that. nobody get hurt . wtf!

here some pictures at dbl o with old new peeps. fyi, we're dancing while snapping photos.

we're hugging a gay-guy. -.-'

efa:"i loiike gay guys" hahahaha.

thats mr gay.

2010-01-27T03:11:00.004+08:00

Ever felt like something 's missing in your heart?

well, while i was working alone, i felt that feeling.

i kept thinking what was it

and i realized that i miss the feeling of being pampered with someone special.

after so many years of being attached ,

it feels so awkward being single.
but one thing i kept saying to my heart i got my friends and family.

maybe more friends than family.

tsk! tsk! eya eya, must be strong.

That Sunday, in the end went to downtown on my off day.

met loved friends.

talked through out the night.

mostly we were talking of making our own novel about our true friendship.

but honestly, we do have the best story of our friendship.

do you think we could succeed on doing our own novel? o.O

from nerd, to become more mature people then to pregnancy, drugs, drinking , love and etc.

if we do make our own novel, do support us yeah? ;p

That Monday, while working, sue came over to my workplace .

randomly, she said that am becoming more skinnier.

told her to buy some wadeh for me , just 1 wadeh is enough for my small stomach.

in the end she bought me 3 wadeh.

ate 1 and the rest gave to efa.

but then really, that aneroxia thingy really scares the hell out of me.

but what am i supposed to do.

I SIMPLY CANT FORCE MYSELF TO FUCKING EAT.

that night went to downtown meet loved friends again.

this time, kamal and his friend , Apul came down too.

Kamal was an old friend .

initial plan was to wait till darda and komeng to come down.

but eventually, komeng went fishing and it will be quite long .

so, later that night mon, bouncer from the powerhouse texted efa asking wanna meet.

he and his friends planning wanting to go for a tour at the swamp.

so rather wasting more time at dte, we decided to tag along.

i met new peeps. esp, this guy (which i dont exactly knoe what's his name)

HE LOOK EXACTLY LIKE MY DADDY.

I suddenly miss my dad!

ok back to where i stop.

from then , i called him "ayah"

and he really jaga me like his own daughter through out the tour.

ok let me just fast forward abit and tell you something scary after the tour at the swamp.

we're all hungry and decided to take our breakfast at changi.

before going eat we went to this one scary, dark, eeky path .

i was with "aya" on his super4

and the other guy name kambeng(who would want to call himself a goat?-.-'),

we were right behind the others .

the other three bikes make a turn at this one path.

so, without thinking furthermore, we followed them.

and then....

THE OTHER THREE BIKES WERE GONE. LITERALLY DISSAPPEAR.

imagine that.

they were there 1 second ago and then, gone.

no sound of the bikes or even light of the bikes.

it really scare the hell out of me.

we then went out the place and called the rest.

and they actually were already at changi village.

How scary is that?

ok , dont want to have any sleepless night thinking of that scary incident.

pictures of that day, more at mon's phone .

MON you cant disturb me with the presence of my "aya" HAHAHAH. LMFAO.

now currently watching hindustan with efa.

damn! hindustan nie suke membuangkn airmata kite.

sue told me to go school tomorrow as there's some test that i need to attend to.

better sleep now. maybe after hindustan movie.pray hard that i cn wake up.

peace out a town'

2010-01-24T15:50:00.004+08:00

Its 4 afternoon. woke up, and had this pain on my right shoulder. must have slept wrong pillow. in malay they said its "salah bantal" . damn ! it hurts so much ! mummy help! yesterday went to work a little bit earlier than usual. cause its saturday and kevin said that there might be more people on saturdays. so, morning kevin drove me to the interchange and i open the stall all by myself. from 1 oclock i was all alone and was bored so just to kill my boredom, i listen to music while check through my bag if there's anything interesting things inside my bag to do with. and i found out there's this picture of me and that fucker in my wallet. so i took a scissors and wanted to cut it into half. when i just wanted to cut it, i received a call. and guess who? HIM. maybe he got the feeling that his hand was been cut.HAHA. lame i know. its been 2 days straight he tried to call me . first he said that he wanna talk but i refused. second he asked me if am still angry , that part i just hung up the phone. i really didnt wanna talk to him or even hear his voice ever again. cause he just makes me thinks about the memories. AND memories SHOULD BE good. but for him, none of his was good.

so yesterday afternoon , darda baby went down tapau me food for me to eat. she even fed me. how sweet? very. after work went to macd slack awhile with bear, darda, efa , abg haris , sheik and friends. there's this part when me and efa wanted to buy ciggy at 7 eleven some stupid kid was in front of us. he and his friends were trying to buy something that needed to be above 18. instead of giving ic , he gave the cashier his ezlink card. the lady said he's not 18 yet one of his friend shouted "he's already ns la! ako rembat kao baru tawu" . me and efa was like laughing our ass out seeing those kids cant get what they wanted. kesian kesian. taq lepas buat hal taq lepas lah. haiyoyo. naq step haolian pulak . kt 7 eleven lak tu. tsk tsk. beh da taq lepas naq mengamok.

i miss my family, home and especially my bolster. XD eventho, it was just yesterday daddy came to my workplace just to pass some things, i still miss him. and my bolster! does it still smells the same? did anyone disturb you at home? if the gorilla tries to throw you away kick her ass! -.-' lame, lame. today i didnt work cause i just felt wanted a day off. youknow, eventho my work seems to be easy and relaxing, i still get tired of sitting down and smiling. i smiled all the time just to make the customer come in . everyday i had to exercise my cheek bone, so why not i give it a rest for one day.

darda still sleeping as per normal, like a pig. she did woke up awhile smoke then lay down back and sleep. annoying knn? efa already went to work. so , left me here doing nothing but just blogging. yesterday night watched the movie called , "my girl"? ever heard of it? great movie youknow. made me cry every time i watch that movie.

chatted with my mei-mei, seow rong rong at fb earlier. she said she just broke up w her boyfriend. see? 2010 really opens our eyes and make us realized who's worth it and who dont. she's really funny girl you know why? long before when i was with dinesh and when am still wearing green skirt and in green school, she actually gave many names to dinesh since he was indian. she called him kumar, gopal, raja .....HAHAHA. she said those names are more suitable for him. -.-' told you she's cute. she wanted to party with me and friends since this coming feb she's going back to australia. must ok? don worry.

so now, i'll shall wait for darda baby to wake up then decide where want to go. adar!!! cepat lah bangon! tdo mcm babi uh dekni!

2010-01-22T13:48:00.002+08:00

now currently waiting for the clock to strike 2 and also waiting for efa getting ready for work. darda still sleeping like a pig standard, half-eyed opened with an half-open mouth. yesterday , eh i mean today came back home 7 morning . it was nice knowing, efa's date, elfi and friends. the west-side people? they really make me ROFLMFAO! expecially in the car . went to their quite-boring chalet. mostly there were many old peeps gambling and the younger ones karaoke till kena warning. yesterday sales improved only by 1 dollar? -.-' nbcb. colin came to work asking me why my face look so pale , i told him am dying soon. and do you know what he actually said? "you got cancer uh?" nbcb again sia! haha. so now, got to get ready soon . toodles!

2010-01-21T13:52:00.002+08:00

No ONE messes with MY SUE . ok ? Don even try. I mean it.

yesterday's work was rather okay but not that great. managed to sell till 100 dollars only. hopefully today's sales will be much better. but this morning my stupid ****** came . so, i hope my cramps and pms wont spoil my day.

yesterday, while i was working received a call from a unknown number. took the call and it was him. i think. i was like, "sape ni sape ni" then i hang up as i was holding a dress and i need clean up the stall. and i did receive a call from this number, 81257134 . i didnt know who the hell was that. so if anyone knows who's number is this , tell that person to call back . =)) after work slack at mac whitesands for awhile then when we already reached home, received a call from DINESH AGAIN. this time he uses his house fone. he called asking me why am i fighting with her beloved girl. and so, i hung up the fone. mengadu nmpk . binget sgt sampai suro dinesh call kan per? HAHA. why cant you , yourself talk otp with me? why must you asked him? HAHAH.

AND GET THIS RIGHT GIRL,

THIS TIME, HE CALLED ME. I DONT EVEN TRY TO CALL BACK. =))

to that "to sue''?

first gmbr , now post. next aper? delete blog skali? taq perlu lah kao berceloteh mcm mak nenek pat sini. sue is a good girl . by reading what you wrote for sue, it seems like you trying to mess with her huh? just so you know, anyone messes with my loved friends , they're messing with me too. hmm. ite simei huh? ouhya, btw, are you been asked by your beloved k*k* to type all those on my tagboard? so that she wont make it too obvious that she still viewing my blog.? HAHAH=p

2010-01-20T14:21:00.003+08:00

time now, : 2:16. i woke up at 12 , get ready as fast as i cn. called kevin, and eventually he said meet up at 3? so wtf?? wanted to just sleep back . but ish., scared that i could not wake up. so just to waste my time, i post some craps here aite. yesterday while sleeping, that "allah" some sort of frame hanging on the wall fell onto my head. it never happens before and that really scare the hell out of me. i woke up and quickly put it aside and tried to sleep but i simply cant . so, i just closed my eyes waited for my alarm to ring. yesterday storm was freaking me and loved friends out . we were freezing cold sia. SCARY.

People, the ugly picture is gone, stop filling up my tagboard. nobody's gona response to all your bullshits. and that girl maseh tgk blog aku nmpk. eee jijik nyer aku org suke jady famous nie. tsk tsk, erm, i think youre the one who SHOULD get a life. i do have a life. i love my life. andstop acting like youre much older than me. cause girl , im not that much younger than you. Again like i said, if youre much wiser you wont be doing what youre doing now. you know what i mean.

don judge me around like as if you know me well.

thanks sepet! and the rest.. =))

2010-01-19T19:15:00.003+08:00

Yaaaaaaay!!!!! just called colin . cause bobo said he cnt get through me. AND so, tmr i'll be working. yepee!! getting bored stay at home all day long. and furthermore i really need money . no plans today maybe just slacking with loved friends . yesterday night, right after my babies came back from work, darda cooked maggi for me. cause i didnt eat the whole day . and my dear sue did told me to eat atleast a meal will do. so, i forced myself to eat eventho i dont feel hungry. thanx darda.! you know, on second thought, i should be the one who cooked for them as they were the one who were tired from work. but instead, she cooked for me. thats y am lucky to have bestfriends like you and the rest.

& to you, yes , YOU! ,

the ugly picture should be gone by now, you can jolly well fuck off from my blog.

"nanti kene jual..wakakkak." do you actually realized how lameshit you are?

i called you a slut before right? thats not only my opinion GIRL. trust me.

don try to make me jealous GIRL, it wont work on me.

not up to your standard? do you think i give a damn about that? a big NO.cause eventually girl, youre nothing. just a big ugly fat ass who think she could get anything by just demanding them .

if you think youre way better than me and that dinesh would be attracted to you more than me,

pfft! go ahead get him . cause after 3 years plus plus knowing him, he still the old playboy-mind-guy. i regretted knowing him and took him back in my life. TAKING HIM BACK WAS A MISTAKE.

why must i be jealous to a guy who mistreated me badly? true?

but why must you make me jealous eh? when you said that you and din were just friends and ALSO you did said youre with matan.

okay, im just not interested in your slut life . but , GIRL, cut the crap. cause your making more people thinks that youre one . =))

and those extra.

buat pakai smpai 3 tahon lebih eh? lame tu .

those talking about abortion.. issh, out of point jah!

2010-01-19T13:41:00.004+08:00

I Don't Give A Fucking Shiiiiit .

to those who fucking talk Craps.

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, AM GONA FUCKING SAY THIS

THIS IS MY FUCKING BLOG, AND I FUCKING POST , FUCKING ANYTHING.

I DON FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING INDIAN AND THE FUCKING JONGOS BITCH AND THEIR FUCKING LIFE.

I WONT FUCKING ENTERTAIN THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO FUCKING KEPO.

THANKS FOR THOSE WHO UNDERSTOOD MY SITUATION. =))

FYI, AKU CARI ADEQ DIE BUKAN ABG DIE. KLAO AKU NAQ SGT SI KELING TU TAWU NOMBOR BARU AKU, AKU DAH BAGI NOMBOR AKU SIANG².

TAQ PERLU NAQ JEALOUS JEALOUSKAN AKU LAH. aku dah taqde feeling kt die lagy. SOMETIMES I WONDER YOURE 20 OR 2 YEARS OLD. ?? o.O

2010-01-18T20:44:00.002+08:00

Second post of the day. am so effing bored . nothing to do . ive been empty-stomach the whole day and i actually dont feel hungry. not even abit. what the hell is wrong with me? watched movie, thought it would make me less-boring. but eventually it doesnt make any different . so end up here telling you guys how bored am i. sleep? nah, i cant sleep . have been calling changi guardian again and again just to disturb efa and izz . haha. ive got no fucking thing to fucking do! nb! Fucking bored like fucking hell sia!! everyone's working. if that kevin didnt hired people at pasir ris, i'll be working right now sia. pfft! damn you kevin! okay, otak blank!

ceh! cari kawan back up kn seh! haha. pls lah, lao taq puas sgt psl stakat gmbr taq perlu lah ajak kwn dtg comment kn , ker skali kao eh? prangai budak kecik eh? psl satu gmbr pon naq besar² kn eh. haha. merepek nyeer....

2010-01-18T16:48:00.003+08:00

my darling , my sweetheart, my love, my everything.

darda just left the house to work, am stuck here with aya and boi. yesterday was fun gg shopping with aya and darda. went to expo shop all we wanted till came to the cashier and found out we shop till 200plus dollars. 0.0 darda and me was like what the fuck did we bought sia till 200 plus!! sorry aya. After that, went home, and we realized that the shoe darda bought both were the wrong size but the same side.-.-' went back to expo and expo was already closed. so then decided go whitesand meet the rest of my loved friends. And while chatting went in fb and found out more heartbreaking things and i started scolding all kinds of bullshit words. abang harry started mara as i was scolding badwords. Sorry abang harry. didnt mean to make you mad. ouhya, earlier aya asked me to go see doctor. o.O i asked why and he said i look too skinny now . and i look sick. OMG!! SCARY PER!! and boi did agree too . maybe im too stress of what had happen to life? haiz.. no appetite to eat just smoke and drink. having this migrane now and then . damn! MUMMY HELP!! speaking of mummy, i miss mummy so much! yesterday dreamt wierd things. i dreamt i was at home and i complaint to mummy why my bed wasnt in the toilet? -.-" then mummy took the bed from my bedroom and put it to the toilet. how wierd is that? then suddenly i dreamt dinesh(of all people) and i was on the road and we stopped at the highway . sit and talked craps which i don remember what. some people said maybe i missed that person if i dreamt of him/her. ouhkay, maybe i did miss him. but abit only. miss the funny things we did . BUT, life must go on w/o him. and furthermore i cn see that he didnt have any impact w/o me by his life. he should be more happier w/o me. eh wait! why the hell am i talking like this? pfft. eehh taqbole taqbole. kene and MESTI lupekan die. today, i shall stay at home all day long and wait for my babies come back home. sweet kn aku? efa! darda! lepas keje make sure balek teros ehk!!!

to that girl, i wont delete that picture . i don get you? why you hated so much if ipost your pic with him anort, you cn posted it on fb why cnt i? that picture shows that, on that day he lied to me when he actually go club with girls and all and other than that reason, that picture shows how bad he is. he took a pic with a girl wherelse when i went to club, i didnt even took picture with any guys excepts for my bestfriends. so why should i delete a picture with full of evidence that he's a bad guy? yah, its true that ive already broke up with him , but why must he give some hope that he wanted me back when he knows that he wanted revenge me back? you said you kekal with your guy? beh amek gmbr mentel² ngn jantan laen. ko tawu tak pompan mcm kao nie menjijik kn name kaum wanita. kesian matan. ko lah pompan paling pecah in and out lah sia. tsk tsk . ko suro aku bace blog kao? buatpe? mls aku. ko sape nk aku gy tgk blog kao. taqder mase. =)) just live your life and i live mine . engkao adalah NOBODY kt aku. just a stranger to me.

memang ko taq setahap aku, kao cume setahap dgn binatang. =))

2010-01-17T17:27:00.002+08:00

right after woke efa up for work, me and darda, clean up her bedroom since her room is like a disaster just took place. now her bedroom is much more cleaner and dust-less. =)) ive lost my previous sim card. tried to find it everywhere but that thing couldnt be found. where could it be? it couldnt have just dissapeared right? sim card! if youre alive, please come back! -.-'' will be going john little later with darda and aya . and ouhya, didnt work today cause colin last minute called said that there's a changed of place for me. wah piang! at toa payoh sia!!! but he said he 'll be sending and fetching me by car. so, i wont be at pasir ris pasar mlm . cheeeebye...!!! i'll be at toa payoh on the 23rd. okay, gotta go bye!

That FUCKER tried to call my Sue to get through me. Just so you know, as mush as i hate YOU , my Bestfriends all hate you too. They just get disgusted by YOU after what you did. =)) AND i would like to THANK you for opening my eyes wide and made me realized that my EVERYTHING wasnt YOU but instead THEM. thanks for stopping by my life again.

your mummy should be smiling wide reading this since she wanted this so much.

Dinesh D Krishner, FUCK YOU.

2010-01-16T15:35:00.007+08:00

19th Birthday Surprise.=))

yesterday was indeed not what i expected. loved friends at first ignore me the whole fucking day making me feel like a loner. -.-'' baby baby ku sumer jahat sia tinggal kn baby you all yg satu nie. knnbccb! chatted with sue about 7 feeling getting 'busterd' when suddenly, sue asked for a meet up at whitesand . was so glad that there's actually people wanna meet me on my birthday. i was thinking if there's no other plan , i wanted to meet that dinesh fucker since he said yest he wanted to celebrate my birthday but in the end he slept. (but eventually that fucker lied)so, met sue at whitesand pass my mummy some cash since she said she needed money so badly. bought new slippers and wallet. pink tawuuuuu!!! XD after that, met sara and emmie chill at mac ws till about 7 plus? proceeded to dte to meet darda and nanie whom have left me all alone at home. ccb! then emmie pop up a plan to take a tour at swamp. when we're already reached they said they didnt want to walk in. so in the end our journey to the swamp was just a waste. -.-'' so we decided walked back to dte. EVENTUALLY, while walking pass the pits , darda literally went near to this one pit with a big tent and foods but no people. i was wondering why the hell darda came near to people's pit. and so, the surprise starts there.before that darda and all sang happy bfday song. Then Bobo, Abg Haris , Bear , nana and sabrina suddenly came out from the tent with a cake on bobo's hand.i was extremely surprise!!!! damn! they really good in acting. need an actor/actress? recommend them. -.-' So we ate and about 11 efa and izz came down from work, then din, nizam and sheik came down to join us too. they actually booked a pit just for me!! awwww...... sungguh terharuu... the cake was effing nice but eventually we didnt finished it up. then we started drinking. main motive was to make the birthday girl, which is me, get drunk. but in the end ,lain org yg mabok. do you know how tiring to jaga mabok people? i didnt even sleep through out the night.

Lastly, i enjoyed my 19th birthday and i love my people!!! thank you so much dearest friends..

CAUGHT ON CANDID CAMERA. *KECING KECING*

this was took on 14th January 2010. Before my birthday. WOW! haha. ade hati msg , "iah kyiut happy bfdae in advance psl i nk tido skrg..hope u wishes come true u da besar sey." Hak! Puik! before that he actually promised to meet me eventually gy club sey! agak² uh geng , kata dah break, tapi apa cerita cari² aku. sungguh taq perlu. pfft! revenge? tsk tsk tsk.. wait till you meet sweet KARMA. =))

i hereby declare we're officially OVER.

fyi, ive changed my number.

19th Birthday. happy birthday to me. =((

2010-01-15T04:08:00.005+08:00

Morning Creatures/Humanbeings! its 4 am in the morning . And am still wide awake. earlier went downtown to meet bobo and the others. thinking wanna just stay home but think twice, its my blardie birthday, why must i stay home? true? and sommore , my pay's with bobo. so came down, eat macspicy which ive been craving for since last week. chill there till 1 plus and took bus home. thought wanna cabbed home budden , nehmind. better save money. see my new blogskin? nyeahaha. first time ever i did it all by myself without my sue-perwoman. took hours to just do my blogskin. still something is missing. i know, no song . mcm ccb sia. i uploaded the music player but the blardie song didnt blardie appear. so in the i just delete it. maybe i'll ask for sue's help.=)) and ouhya, first present i got is from my dear efa. guess what she bought for me? 8 tissue boxes. -.-' pathetic kn? she said i always got sinus every morning, so to show that she care, she bought me tissues. pariah peh budak. sepak kang , nanty jady negro baru tawu.. nehmine at least there's a present for me. =)) Afterall, its the thought that counts right? dinesh said that he wanted to celebrate my birthday but eventually, all his words was just "lanciao".

this was took when the bus was already reaching . as you can see efa's trying to stop the bus. sempat amek gmbr. nyeahaha.

this guy right there, we dont actually know what he's trying to do. we think that he's downsyndrome or maybe he's drunk . he stood in the middle of the road and hang himself on the railings. more and more people are going insane!

the picture quality sucks, i know. but am sure you cn see the size of this kid right? so damn effing adorable . nothing is more important to him excepts food!

lastly, thanx for the wishes peeps! appreciate much ! =))